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a lesson on impermanence

Memorial Day weekend usually finds us in New Hampshire with friends.  "We" being a group of our friends who all own a party house together, my boyfriend of 12 years and myself.  Through the years our activities have changed, but the underlying vibe is to hang out with good company, away from work and chores and electronics and just RELAX.  There is also almost always tag-sales and flea markets to stop in and check out.  This year was no different.

The whole field was covered with flea market tables, tents and vehicles.  As far as i could tell in a quick glance there was nothing there I was going to be interested in.  I have this horrible fear that I will become a hoarder, therefor I have a bad habit of throwing everything away- so what is the point in buying?  I do, however, collect Buddha's (and more recently elephants) both because they bring me joy.  Simple.  I bought my first Buddha years ago in West Virginia, believe it or not.  Since then he keeps popping up and i don't ignore things that keep popping up.  My rule is that if i find more than one, in a thrift store, antique shop, flea market- wherever, I can only take one.  I don't know why.  It feels wrong to me to take more than one.

Back to the flea market- I eventually found a table filled with the kind of items i like- an olive wood mortar and pestal being the first thing to slow me down to come see what else might be found here.  The people, an older couple, were smiling and friendly.  I liked them immediately.  Not that i like or dislike people immediately, i just don't normally "take" to perfect strangers within moments.  We got to talking, and they told me this was their first time trying to sell at a flea market. (I had commented that their prices were almost too low)  They were clearing out their house that they had lived in for almost 50 years because they were downsizing.  I told them i'd love to go shopping in their home.  She picked up an elephant that had been hand carved by a friend of theirs, his initials on the back.  It was meant to be- and i told her i had started collecting elephants and asked if she happened to have any Buddha's?  Her whole face lit up and she walked me down the table to show me a small framed starving Buddha that had been hand painted on a see through leaf.  It was gorgeous.  And it was affordable.  She told me when they had purchased their home all those years ago the woman who owned it previously had left them the Buddha as a housewarming gift.  She told me it was in a flat box and it had taken her years to finally find the "right" frame.  She was really happy it was going to someone who would appreciate it.  I love random connections with strangers like these.  

I left my booty in the vehicle when we returned to the house, not wanting to forget to bring it home. A little while later D and a few others decided they were going fishing and D drove his truck.  I thought nothing of it.  The next morning, when i came downstairs D approached me and said "you are going to kill me and i'm so sorry"........which is never a good way to start the day.  What could have possibly happened so early in the morning in New Hampshire?  Then he told me he had taken all our stuff out of the truck to make room for people to sit when the went to go fishing.  He had been in a hurry and had put everything under the parked truck next to his (that he knew wasn't going anywhere) to "protect" it until they returned, and he could put them back in the truck.

Well he forgot to put the items back in the truck.

One of our friends didn't look under the truck before he started it, and backed up over everything.

My Buddha was demolished.  The broken glass had shredded the leaf.  To say i was angry is an understatement.  I saw red.  This was a once in a lifetime find.  It could never be replaced.  And it had been left on the ground and run over.  For fishing.  I suggested to D that if he didn't smoke so much pot he probably wouldn't have put the stuff under a truck, and then forgotten it.  He knew enough to walk away as I tried not to blow my shit up. 

I was really in a rip.  I'm talking, furious.  And then all at once, I thought to myself "it's a thing.  just a thing.  And every thing is impermanent." I literally felt the anger lift out of my body.  Yes, it sucks that i didn't have it anymore but I had the experience of it.  There was no evil intent in D's actions, it had been a mistake.  So i let the anger go.  And I made sure D knew i was over it and I was not angry with him.  We carried on with the day and the rest of the weekend.

But that's not the point to this seemingly pointless blog.

While we were away my sister-in-law was taking care of our kitties, making sure they were fed and had clean water.  She had asked me if I minded her transplanting some of her plants into our flower bed and i had been more than happy to oblige her.  I didn't realize she was going to do it that weekend and it was a nice surprise to come home to a a pretty flower bed.  We entered the house with all our bags and weekend stuff and threw it on the kitchen floor to be dealt with later.  That's when i saw the three brass Buddhas sitting on my kitchen counter.

My brother in law (I call them in-laws because D and i have been together for 12 years and how does one identify the relatives of a spouse who minds well be married to you even if you both have NO desire to marry, anyone, period?) Anyways, my brother in law had found the three buddhas in his house, which used to be his grandmothers house.  They had been there for as long as he could remember, so a long time.  He polished them up (they fit into each other to stack) and left them for me.

So- three Buddha's instead of one, given to me instead of purchased.  All having a history, a personal story.  A lesson.

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