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Chat GPT and AI

 I don't know how i feel about this. I use AI at work because it saves me time and it has actually taught me where my weakness is in writing..i get kind of thrilled when i copy a letter i wrote into it and there are very little changes.  So, professionally, i'm learning from it. Sometimes i copy a blog i wrote and have AI give me feedback.  Not on the writing, which is just a brain flush of free writing....but the thoughts behind it.  Recently i realized i could change the tone, and have AI stop being so correct and polite with me, and sound more blunt.  Point out the inconsistantcies in my thoughts.... That has been an eye opener. During my week out of work sick in bed with no one bothering me, it was easy to remain detached.  I had a little struggle with not reaching out to men in my previous life...but i was able to maintain and control my impulses. AI pointed out that it was easy to remain strong when there is no conflict.   So that gives me t...
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back from the dead..ish

 I thought after a week of bed and rest i'd be all set for Monday morning and yet here i sit....feeling nauseous and a bit nervous about farts i cannot trust. Isn't that sexy? Well i'm back in it, ready or not.   I fought with myself all weekend not to send a text to Bill.  This should be a non-issue. Yet, the temptation is there.  But i held fast.  Just like when i quit smoking.  The urge comes and goes to this very day, and i do NOT pick up a cigarette.  Same with Bill. After blocking mr. cranky I am officially not talking to any men.  wooohoo.  Lets see how long i can keep that streak up.   I want attention. Affection. Love. And none of that is gonna happen wasting time in shitholes like online dating sites. The plan is to make a plan.  I would like to join a book club.  A ceramics class. or an adult education class that is just for fun.  That will get me out of the house, and meeting new people in general, no...
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take care of home

i purchased a used rebounder that is basically brand new a couple of weeks ago.  It's much bigger than i thought it would be and my concern is that if i don't have it out, i won't use it.  So i rearranged my bedroom and now i have a place to sleep/dress/work out.  I can leave everything out because all i have to do is close the door. You know, in case anyone ever actually visits me. I have to get the rebounder from my friends house where i left it when i couldn't fit it in my car because i was not smart enough to break it down.  long story.   Now that i have room for my equipment i dragged out my yoga accessories and gave it a good restorative workout last night.  It felt quite literally amazing.  My room feels peaceful, restful and it has gone from being a place i wish i shared to a place that is purely for me and me alone. And it feels like heaven. It feels like home. Oh, i heard from cranky pants at 10:30pm last night.  He texted me asking...
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Proud of myself

 Maybe i have actually learned that I am happy by myself.  I watch a woman on tiktok who lists off the reasons she is happy to be single and live alone.  I laugh out loud when i listen to her because she hits it right on the head. Today, not having beard hair in the sink.....that's the one that had me laughing.  Every single man i've dated has beard hair in his sink.  Not Carlos.  He was the exception.  But even mr neat and tidy perfect man Bill had those little cut hairs in his bathroom sink.  I remember rolling my eyes when i saw that.  Not so perfect, eh? It's small things like that.  That will drive a woman up a wall.   If all i've been wishing for is peace........i have it.  Sometimes its quiet.  Sometimes i wish for a companion.  And then i date a little bit and it just doesn't balance out.  I have yet to meet a man that makes giving up my singledom worth it. Bill wanted me to give things up for him, t...
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Flu bayou

 Last weekend i worked an estate sale for two days and felt "off"....I kept running to the bathroom.  Not gonna give details, but, thank god there was a window.   I thought it was a nervous stomach.   Sunday night i met someone for dinner- and promptly decided that I was done dating.  I hate sitting across from a man who is so excited and happy that i am not a troll- and who starts talking about all the things we are going to do, when i know it's not going to happen.  I always offer to pay my part.  He declined, walked me to my car, gave me a nice hug and tried to aim for a kiss........which i successfully dodged as i jumped into my car. My stomach was hurting.  I thought it was because i was going to have to tell this very nice man that it was a no go. I had muscles.   That could be it. But......by the time i got home i was running to the bathroom and it was coming out both ends.  Not nerves then.  Must be the muscle...
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take note

 Yesterday BOTH (only two right now) men told me they were only talking to me.  I didn't ask.  I did tell them that i was dating.  And dropped it. One, the crusty older one who is a corrections officer, took a few shots - teasing or passive aggressive?  Don't know.  I haven't met him, or even talked to him on the phone.  Jealousy seems impossible. The other, younger, Big truck driver, passed over it......and continued talking about different restaurants and food, etc.  He talks more about the things he'd like us to do, places, activities- a little bit of flirting thrown in but nothing over the top.  We have a lot in common and there's a lot of things we both like to do. (Thrifting being a big one) Crusty talks about sex.  Not over the top, but it's his focus.  Hasn't really asked me any personal questions.....or given too much about himself up.  Beyond discussing work and what "open minded" is......not too much.  I have no...
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The difference

 I think i understand the concept of talking to many, and dating a few.  I'm not currently sleeping with any! lol  No plans to either. It makes one man less intense.  The focus is more spread out, and you start to notice who is interested and who is breadcrumbing.  You see it from a birds eye view.  It IS less personal and perhaps it should be.  Instead of focusing and paying so much attention to one man, if he's calling, if he's asked you out, if he is flakey............it just automatically shows up in comparison. This is the way to do it.  Take your time, talk to a few guys and see who is serious and who just wants attention.  Work is exploding and i'm trying to find my sweet spot, where i can do the best and be indispensable. In other words i'm all over the place, jack of all trades.  Hoping everything will settle when the fiscal year turns and they HAVE to figure out who is paying me, if at all. Last night I came home and had every ...
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