dreamt about the church lady last night.......strange.
Maybe because I'm conflicted about talking to two men at the same time? But i'm allowed. It's okay. I'm not swapping juices with anyone. The nice thing is that its not entirely on one person, it's spread out so i actually am able to enjoy both without getting overly attached too soon. I'm seeing how this works.
No rush. Just spend time and get to know each other. Stand back and let them be who they are, show me how they act, and get passed the urgency of having to "be" with somone. I've never felt more relaxed and honest.
They are both easy to talk to, as it should be. I'm keeping it nice and light. Nothing heavy......actually both of them are telling me some pretty heavy stuff. Whats that rule? talk 30% of the time and let them do the rest. It's more important to listen and see if they are interested in anything i have to say down the line.
Both are caring and attentive. I nearly cut the tip of my finger off yesterday so my thumb is wrapped up like a cartoon because it won't stop bleeding. Both showed concern and checked back later asking how it was doing. Check.
Not that there is a literal check box.
What do i want out of a relationship? To be seen, to be cared for, listened to, confided in, known....and still loved. I want to have fun and feel safe and know that is my person in and out of each others presence. Affection, physical and verbal. Thoughfulness both appreciated and given. The ability to celebrate each other over big and small moments. Understanding. Peace. Safety.
Is that a list that is too long for one person?
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