Nice evening

 I don't know what i'm supposed to say to one when i'm out with the other.  Do i have to say anything at all?  I mean, they both consistently text me in the evening...No.  I don't owe any explanations to anyone about my whereabouts.  Now i understand why men have been so vague with me in the past.  ahhh.

Plus, i shouldn't alway be so available.  Not that i want to play games, i don't.  But reality is that i am not always available so why make myself so available in the beginning?  So. Noted.

Part of me thinks the reason L stepped it up is because he knows i'm actively dating.  MM hasn't asked me and i haven't told him.  What i HAVE done is tell him i'm not looking to get serious too fast. 

I'm watching myself and don't want to become everything i've hated in men that i've dated.  At the same time, i think i'm finally catching on to how to do this.  Very lightly, very slowly, very laid back.....and let them come to me.

Anyways thats how it feels best.  Can't question interest if they are doing the chasing.

L came over and by the time he got to my place he was overheated and sweaty from sitting in traffic almost all the way here.  Over an hour, going about 1 mile an hour.  I saw relief on his face when he stepped inside to the coolness of my place.  Straight to the bathroom to clean up.  Then sat down with me on the couch where we talked and talked and talked.  Till i realized we were supposed to go out.  He said he wasn't hungry (also on the same med as me) and could we skip it?  The heat had wiped him out.  I was a little sad about no ride, HOWEVER, it gave us some good quality talking time in the comfort of my own home.  And some kissing.

I firmly believe that the way Mr. Cigar kissed me is what made me fall hard for him.  From that first kiss to the very last.....perfect.  His kissing was always outstanding.

L kisses differently, not so aggressively - a little tentative.  Understandable.  I mean, i don't want my face eaten off either...so it took us a little while to pick up a pattern, a beat to follow....but we got there.  And it became very nice.  Very very nice.

Everyone isn't going to kiss like Mr. Cigar, and everyone also isn't going to be a raging asshole like Mr. Cigar.  

We didn't take it any further than that really.  Both of us laughing, mostly me giggling.  "Clothes stay ON, i'm virginal" ....Hey, almost!  

There will be no sexy time with men i'm "dating".  That was a decision I made and i'm sticking to it.  Sex will include exclusivity.  Or they can keep trucking elsewhere.  I get attached when i get intimate like that.  So that is final.