Walking Barefoot in Snow

I've always had difficulties trusting in any relationship i've ever had.  Maybe its because my birth parents didn't give me up for adoption like they probably should have.  Maybe i would have had a normal, adjusted view of the world if the two people (or even just one) who were supposed to love me unconditionally actually did.  Instead, my sperm doner exited stage right and promptly gave me up to my step father, legally and in spirit.  Not such a loss, but still. Then, my "mother" "raised" me by constantly pushing me away unless I served a purpose.  At age 16 i was more of a reminder than a daughter so out the door she shoved me, and locked it tightly behind me.  At least my sperm doner had the good grace to accept that he wanted nothing to do with me.  She couldn't bare for people to think badly of her, so she told everyone i ran away. Laughable.  Really.  Especially when the police had to accompany the social worker and I to the house t...

Yesterday I ran out to the deli for lunch.  They know me there, mostly because i'm probably one of the few people who smuggle my dog in.   So there i am chatting and making niceties at the deli, still smiling as i walk out the door which is being held open by.......a familiar guy.  why is he familiar? He's smiling really big like he knows me, did he just say "hi M"? .......oh!....heyyyyy. As i say "how are ya?" and keep walking willing him not to try and carry on the conversation.  Gratefully he takes my continued walk away as a sign not to chat. I can't remember his name.  I didn't mean to be rude, nor did I want to be friendly in any way. I did go out with him one time.  He turned it into a weird situation by constantly calling, texting and pretty much driving me up a wall.  However, his name completely escapes me. Here's the funny part.  As soon as i got into my car i thought "oh god, please don't let this start a riv...