Walking Barefoot in Snow

My voicemail has been full for .......a long time.  I haven't listened to messages in probably over a year.  Today, i not only listened to but deleted the majority.  I'm proud of me. I didn't want to listen to what i should delete but didn't want to just delete everything without listening.  So.  I finally did it. Now i feel stupid for stressing about something that was nothing.  Sometimes I build up things in my head to be a lot bigger than they are, or ever were. I need room on my voicemail so i can get new messages. On that note, i looked up my previous address online to see if there are still pictures and there they were, from when it went on the market.  My little house that i loved so much.  I showed Mike and while i was doing so i realized that I love our home.  It's old, it has character, it has details that others don't have and it needs love and attention.  Like us.  It's our, big home.  Funny to think that ...

Sitting at home literally, is making me a bit......not myself.  Surgery on my foot means hopping along with a walker (yes, a walker) because putting pressure or weight on my foot is a bigggg no no.  Fuck me.  I never appreciated being able to walk on two feet as much as i should have.  My hands hurt more than my ankle, so sitting seems to be the goal.  I sit.  and i sit some more. It's not too bad when Mike is here because he talks to me, but once he goes to work i'm slipping into the coma of television, or ....Sims.  I admit it.  If i can't live in reality i'm gonna do it on the computer with made up characters.  I create the characters so i can build them houses.  Thats my favorite part so i'm not too ashamed or concerned. Time alone gives you all this extra space to think.  Think, chew on it, get mad, get sad, feel relieved, grateful, bored, regretful and grossly happy.  Within the space of moments .  Because, norma...