Last night I sent a meme to Mr. Cigar and promptly fell asleep. I remember thinking "it's so light outside, it's too early" and that was all she wrote. This morning when i woke up I realized i never said goodnight, and when i looked at my phone, neither had he. He had seen the meme. We are a couple of losers not being able to stay up later than the sun. That was my first thought. My second thought was........why didn't he respond when he saw my message? Because that is how i sabotage. That is my anxiety at work. Stop it. So i texted good morning and it took some time for him to respond. he is obviously already on a roll at work. Here comes my anxiety. He is pulling away, losing interest, what did i do wrong? No he's not, no he's not, and nothing. Relax. He makes time for me. I talk to him every day at some point. We see each other regularly, but not on a routine basis. He knows me. And i know him. ...
I knew my cell phone was attached to me, but i never really had a realistic idea of just how much i depend on it. This morning i went to grab my phone to go sit on the throne. I had a moment of "OH NO, what will i do?" and then had a good giggle. what a crisis! Potty time with no hexagram game!!!! Last night I was a out of sorts, no phone, no social media (unless i get on the laptop, which i sure as hell did) no audiobook, no texting, no phone calls.....I can't read a book while i'm making dinner! How am i going to multitask? Mr. Cigar messages me back on Facebook (good old facebook) and i tell him "come get me" and he does! He tells me i'm difficult. I tell him he's a good boyfriend. He said he didn't want me having anxiety all night without a phone. Does he know me? ya think? What if my kids need me? The only reason i spent money ON a cell phone back in the day was so they could always reach me if they needed me. Here w...