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anxious attachment

 Last night I sent a meme to Mr. Cigar and promptly fell asleep.  I remember thinking "it's so light outside, it's too early" and that was all she wrote. This morning when i woke up I realized i never said goodnight, and when i looked at my phone, neither had he.  He had seen the meme.   We are a couple of losers not being able to stay up later than the sun.  That was my first thought. My second thought was........why didn't he respond when he saw my message? Because that is how i sabotage.  That is my anxiety at work.  Stop it. So i texted good morning and  it took some time for him to respond. he is obviously already on a roll at work.  Here comes my anxiety.  He is pulling away, losing interest, what did i do wrong? No he's not, no he's not, and nothing.  Relax. He makes time for me.  I talk to him every day at some point. We see each other regularly, but not on a routine basis.  He knows me. And i know him.  ...
Recent posts

dependent

 I knew my cell phone was attached to me, but i never really had a realistic idea of just how much i depend on it. This morning i went to grab my phone to go sit on the throne.  I had a moment of "OH NO, what will i do?" and then had a good giggle.  what a crisis!  Potty time with no hexagram game!!!! Last night I was a out of sorts, no phone, no social media (unless i get on the laptop, which i sure as hell did) no audiobook, no texting, no phone calls.....I can't read a book while i'm making dinner!  How am i going to multitask? Mr. Cigar messages me back on Facebook (good old facebook) and i tell him "come get me" and he does!  He tells me i'm difficult.  I tell him he's a good boyfriend.  He said he didn't want me having anxiety all night without a phone. Does he know me?  ya think? What if my kids need me?  The only reason i spent money ON a cell phone back in the day was so they could always reach me if they needed me.  Here w...

cell phone shenanigans

 A few months ago i decided i was tired of paying so much money for my cell phone service.   I have had them all.  Verizon (horrifyingly expensive and confusing) T-mobile (I do not know how i paid them every month and still owed them money to THIS DAY) and finally, an improvement, Comcast cable.   I went to comcast because i have them for wifi and if you have service with them you can add a phone line for $30ish a month.  And i was fine with this for a long time until I realized how damn expensive my internet is, and that it kept getting more expensive for less service and I had no other choice.  Fiber optic is still not available in my complex and if i'm going to pay a lot of money thats what i want.  One day i had a piss fit and decided i wasn't paying comcast any more money than i literally have to so i cancelled the phone line.  I don't have cable, haven't had cable in years.   This left me with no cell phone plan.  I ...

no panic

 How long does it take to know you are with "the one"?  I wish there was a rule book somewhere. What is love? Baby don't hurt me.....(song reference) Limerence? Infatuation?  How do you know the difference? The hardest thing in life is to trust yourself, when you've led yourself down dead end paths before, and wasted time and tears on men who were never meant for you in the first place. Do i just want to be in love?  No........because if that were the case, i've had men that were head over heals (so they said) and i felt nothing.  In the same regard, i've fallen head over heals and he felt nothing. When i was going through last years failed romance (yes another song reference) It was so immediate and so all consuming that i didn't pay attention.  I had given myself over to a man who didn't want me, but THIS one, let me go.  Oh, how that hurt.  And i blamed myself.  I was TOO MUCH of me.  I was TOO obvious with how I felt, needed TOO MUCH...

See? I can heal.

 Mr. Cigar hasn't been available for more than a few random texts over the past few days.   The old me would be losing sleep, wondering "why" and thinking the worst. The healed me, doesn't like it.....but it is what it is.  If he is pulling away, he has his reasons.  If he is just busy, he has his reasons.  HIS reasons. I'm still going to work, making dinner, talking to my friends, doing my workouts and if i'm lucky getting a chance to read a bit before i fall asleep. I do wonder.  But it's not wrecking my world. He accepted my invitation to attend a graduation party in a few weeks.  My old self started thinking "he'll break up with me, or start a fight so he doesn't have to go" hmmmmm.  I wonder what makes me think things like that?  Previous experiences NOT with him. So cool your jets MB.  He said yes to the invite.  It's not a marriage proposal. My work stress is not over.  No one gave the word to the new guy apparently...

Am I negative?

 probably.  Its not the first time i've heard that i always jump to the worst case scenario, or assume the worst is going to happen. Is that anxiety? or a character trait?  It's always self focused.  I assume the best for everyone else and the worst for myself.  Was that learned? is is self defense so i don't get side swiped when something bad happens i can say "i knew it"........? Mr. Cigar called me out last night.  Said i always go to the negative.  He's not wrong.  I catch myself but not always. I can see how that would be annoying- but why do my friends love me so much if i'm so negative? Definitely neurotic.  All that stressing and my boss came back to me with a definitive answer from the above.  My job doesn't change. I do not have to become someones secretary (as much as they seem to think they are entitled to me) because he's unhappy with what he has, or because of my logistical location outside of his office. (ONE of his office...

aaaarrrrhhhh

 This business of not knowing what my actual job is going to be, or when it's going to change is driving me INSANE. My boss is retiring, and it's been known for a while.  But now the scramble is on.   Add that Mr. Cigar is super busy and not having much time. Shit fuck shit.