I think i look different when i'm happy. I seem to get a lot more attention from men.
Maybe i walk different, smile bigger, shine a little.....
I hold on to this feeling while at the same time kicking back my demons that tell me....he's a man, he's gonna lie to you and cheat on you and leave you an emotional husk by the time he's done with you.
Isn't that a lovely thought?
I notice everything, every good night missed, every day i haven't talked to him on the phone........that is me being anxious and insecure. I know the words, I certainly know the feeling...and now i need to really master controlling it so it doesn't disrupt my entire life.
I remind myself, routine isn't something i want. I remind myself he is a hard working business(s) owner and this is his busy season. I remind myself that is something i admire about him, so feeling displaced when he's working himself to sleep every night makes zero sense.
Still haven't made that appointment with the therapist. I just saw online that Chatgpt actually can act as a therapist. I do pay monthly for it since i use it so often so.........
Today is a good day.
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