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See? I can heal.

 Mr. Cigar hasn't been available for more than a few random texts over the past few days.  

The old me would be losing sleep, wondering "why" and thinking the worst.

The healed me, doesn't like it.....but it is what it is.  If he is pulling away, he has his reasons.  If he is just busy, he has his reasons.  HIS reasons.

I'm still going to work, making dinner, talking to my friends, doing my workouts and if i'm lucky getting a chance to read a bit before i fall asleep.

I do wonder.  But it's not wrecking my world.

He accepted my invitation to attend a graduation party in a few weeks.  My old self started thinking "he'll break up with me, or start a fight so he doesn't have to go"

hmmmmm.  I wonder what makes me think things like that?  Previous experiences NOT with him.

So cool your jets MB.  He said yes to the invite.  It's not a marriage proposal.

My work stress is not over.  No one gave the word to the new guy apparently and he's all hepped up about meeting with me to discuss his needs.  I'm happy to meet with him.  Thats where we will come to terms with what exactly he can expect from me.  I've had all the okays from above and as usual it's in my lap to enforce boundaries.

He does seem to be a very nice man, but they all seem like that in the beginning.  Until you say "no".  Thats where you find out what they are made of.

All this boundary business seems to be working out so far for me.  Really wish i had given it some thought earlier.

And not letting the fear of being crushed again rule my world.

most of the time. 



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