Walking Barefoot in Snow

How I Feel when i hear stupid shit Where is my patience and understanding?  Where is my ability to put myself in someone else's shoes and empathize with how they are feeling? It's here.  I take it out when i need it and I don't waste it on toxic, or emotionally abusive people.  Just Shut. up. Seriously. I am immune. My bloodstream has been subjected to so much bullshit from people that I am no longer affected.  You can't squeeze a drop of guilt out of me.  I don't care.  For absolutely real.  If you are poisonous, a user, a narcissist........move along.   I can see you coming a mile away and while you MAY be able to make some people feel like shit with your bullshit shenanigans, you are wasting your time with me.  I see you.  I see you for what you are. And i will protect the ones i love from you.  I will repair the damage you have done, continue to do, because you can't see, won't see, anything but what you want...

I'm at my best friends mothers house and i'm there with my ex husband and two children (they are still small) There is sand all over the floor and i'm mad at him because he is sitting in the middle of it eating like nothing is wrong.  I'm telling him it has to be cleaned up or Maria will be angry with me.  It seems like he has bought a ton of junk food from a warehouse because it won't all fit in the cabinets. My friend and her husband come "home" which isn't really their home.  She jokes with my ex husband, cajoling him and i feel him getting angry.  I'm afraid.  I start to clean up the mess and he starts yelling but cleaning it up.  I leave and go home to the house i grew up in.  I move my daughter out of her room (used to be my room) and put her in my bed (used to be my parents room).  I go and get my son who is a baby from the living room sleeping in a playpen.  I drag it down the hall and i hear the ex coming home so now i'm running to...

two steps back. It is possible to have feelings for an ex AND have feelings for your spouse. Just because something ended, it does not negate the time spent together in a relationship. Current spouses are current BECAUSE they are preferred.  I'm not sure why anyone wouldn't understand that. Trust.  When the trust is broken it's much easier to hate the ex of your spouse than to hold your spouse accountable for sketchy behavior.  Secrets breed mistrust.  Honesty isn't always easy but at least everyone is on board with the full story of their lives, not being misled. I love Mike.  Very much, for many reasons.  We fit.  We are comfortable.  Our differences compliment each other.  I haven't felt this accepted, this calm, this secure- ever. I'm exactly where i am supposed to be and i have zero doubts about it. Having said that, I do still harbor feelings for my ex.  I didn't know a breakup was going to happen.  I didn't have t...

Its kinda nice.  This feeling of having no immediate worries, or insecurity.  Makes it difficult to find something to vent about.  A friend of mine posted a "challenge" of sorts a few days ago asking that we, me included, join her in a "Rampage of Appreciation" by taking our daily bitches and complaints and turning them around into something positive.  Do this for a month and see how your life changes. I'm good, but i'm not giving up the opportunity for better.  On day 2 and it's still fun.  Talk to me on day 30. When you remove the insecurities and the worries and the fear from your life you need to replace it with new feelings.  If you haven't ever lived without these negative feelings, it is just as scary trying to get used to the new ones.  I'm not going to articulate this well but i'm pretty positive there are readers who understand me perfectly.  Because they've been there.  And now they aren't.  Accepting positive reinf...