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New to me

Its kinda nice.  This feeling of having no immediate worries, or insecurity.  Makes it difficult to find something to vent about. 

 A friend of mine posted a "challenge" of sorts a few days ago asking that we, me included, join her in a "Rampage of Appreciation" by taking our daily bitches and complaints and turning them around into something positive.  Do this for a month and see how your life changes.

 I'm good, but i'm not giving up the opportunity for better.  On day 2 and it's still fun.  Talk to me on day 30.

 When you remove the insecurities and the worries and the fear from your life you need to replace it with new feelings.  If you haven't ever lived without these negative feelings, it is just as scary trying to get used to the new ones.  I'm not going to articulate this well but i'm pretty positive there are readers who understand me perfectly.  Because they've been there.  And now they aren't.  Accepting positive reinforcement and acceptance as you are, no a celebration of who you are......it's a weird feeling.  This happy medium of having feelings that are not extreme - I was so good at extremes - being completely possessed in one relationship and completely ignored in another - it is sooooo good to be in the middle, with all the feelings in proper perspective.  

 I hate gushing as much as crying.  But, i'd rather gush.  yeaaaaah!!

 While i'm gushing I want to say how proud i am of my children.  The fact that they have supported themselves, lived on their own, never asked me for any financial help........it's damn impressive.  Everything they have they earned on their own. Their homes, their cars.....everything.  They both picked loving and supportive spouses to share their life with.  Considering their role model, i find that EXTREMELY impressive.  They paid for their continuing education, ever.y.thing.  They have never lived off the system, or me.  The more i learn about people, the more i realize how very lucky I am, and how very outstanding they are.  They came from nothing, with no leg up, and they have matured into people I am proud to know.

 I wonder if i can get a loan?  hahahahaha

 Just had to say it.  They know i love them, because i tell them.  I think they need to know how proud i am of them.  I'm going to tell them.  Over and over and over again.

 Because my life?  It's fucking awesome.  It's time to get used to it.

 Taaaaaa!

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