I stayed in bed until 8am. Yes, i was scrolling my phone, but still........i was in bed. Also, i made coffee and brought it BACK to bed.....so yes, technically, i remained in bed until 8am.
I have a hard time staying up past 9pm. And then i can't sleep past 6:30 at the latest. When did that happen?
Yesterday, i was ready for bed by 7pm at the birthday party. I got to hold, okay, i TOOK the 6 day old premie babie and cradled his little body for a longggg time. I layed him in my lap so i could see him, and he could strettttttttch his tiny body. This little boy, normally, would still be baking in the womb.......but here he is, tiny and mighty, in my lap. His tiny hands, his tiny FEET. OMG. New mamma was happy to be with her family and socialize, but new daddy, stayed close. He talked about all the things CJ does already.......sleep, eat, poop. He is a very nice young man, very in tune with his sons whereabouts. Mama picked well.
Then there was the 1 year old blue eyed peanut. She gravitated toward me, and several times her grandmother stated "she likes you, here".....and plopped her into my lap. One year olds are a bundle of energy, wiggles and in constant movement.....she made me tired. But SO cute. And i was honored to be one of the chosen few who did not make her cry. I remembered all the words to "little white duck" and "wheels on the bus" as if i had just been singing it all along.
Which maybe i have. Don't judge.
MY granddaughter turns 7 this year in a few days. I missed her so much yesterday. I missed out on her early months and years because of COVID. That time was difficult, and my regret is that i couldn't be there more often - to see her, and to help my daughter. I missed out on my only grandchilds early years. She is my world. I would do anything for this girl. She is my second chance to do things right, now that i know what right is.
I don't think my son is going to have children. My daughter has told me she will not have any more. So........thats that. Stingy children not giving me a bunch of grandbabies! But they are smart not to do what they do not want to do. They have made conscious choices in their lives.
As i was sitting there, watching the generations, i was again struck by the fact that I am now the old lady in this scenario. I shared that thought with the other grandmother, who used to be a nemesis years ago, when we were the ones herding children....and we gave each other knowing looks and laughed. We still have it in us. But in THIS setting we behave as expected.
Funny because Jen reached out to me last night and informed me we are going to see her brothers band Friday night because he specifically asked for me to attend. Probably because if i go, she will go. She hates the music. I love it. Heavy metal, 80's style. They have a huge following and know just about everyone in the Connecticut band scene....they just came back from a tour overseas. We are going to have a blast! From holding babies to wearing black and fishnets......my life is full.
Also, i've been going live on TikTok. One day a friend of mine was on there folding his laundry and i thought......wtf. I can do that. So i went live the first time, unraveling a blanket and then re-hand knitting it. Last night i went on sitting there doing diamond painting. People join the room and some stay and chitty chat. It's weird, but fun. I posted in the facebook group that i was going to be going live and they should join and hang out. Seems no one had TikTok, but they were all downloading it and creating accounts so they could watch.
Is that weird? Don't care. It's kind of like going out and meeting people, but in the comfort of my own home. And if i do it enough, i become a "content creator" and can actually make some money. THAT is crazy. it's also not the goal. People like to build other people up, just to tear them down. I am just looking for some company when i'm bored.
So....if "you" read this, and you have TikTok, you can find me there. @silverfocks Say hello.
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