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The audacity

 Audacity - boldness or daring, especially with confident or arrogant disregard for personal safety, conventional thought, or other restrictions. Synonyms: foolhardiness, temerity, grit, spunk, nerve.


I have Mr. Cigar blocked on all ways to reach me short of showing up at my house - which, in a way, i wish a motherfucker would.

Hearting my profile picture on facebook from a different account that has his name on it is so.....not surprising.

He probably has multiple accounts because he gets blocked on the regular. 

When i get blocked, i figure its because the person has no desire to ever hear from me, or speak to me again.  It's kind of clear to a normal person.

A psycho though, will find ways around it.

I blocked him on that account to.  Go fuck yourself.  I literally can't stand him.  A lying cheating fake of a "man"......water seeks it's level. 

I don't think he knows that i know all about him.  That i have had women reach out to me after i posted him on "Are we dating the same man" and tell me their horror stories.  I don't think he knows i was in contact with his "ex" who was not his ex.  

I'm all set, all done - he's been put into the past - But he pops back up like i'm supposed to what?  Not block him?  Does he think it's even safe to contact me?  Because this bitch choked me out without my consent and I'd love to even the score..........but i won't.  Because i'd rather just stay away from shit.

GRRRRRR.  I've never been treated so horribly, by anyone.  Not even the cheating ex boyfriend, not even the drug addicted ex husband.  

Can i pick them or what?

I was wrecked over Mr Tattoo but he never treated me badly.  Not once.  He pissed me off at the end, but he didn't lie.  He was what he was and he never acted like he was something else to use me.  But even he is in the past.  

And here i am going on a lunch date today with another possible predator. lovely.  If he has a penis he is a potential threat.  I'm sick of this.

Mr. Batts.  He is full blown 100% Italian.  My bestie who is also 100% italian is always telling me NOT to date italians.  I find that funny.  Nationality does not make the man.  But she insists.  Here's the thing - I practically grew up in her house.  I'm italian by association.  BUT i'm also a woman who has taken care of herself since the age of 16 and i'm not needing or taking any shit from a man.

I need to pay attention because he has already pushed limits and had to be put into his place. He probably thinks i'll fall to his feet because he is another successful male.  Semi-retired, full plate with friends and family- has his own home, blah blah blah.  I vetted him through friends we have in common (which obviously means nothing since i did the same with Mr. Cigar) and they all say he is friendly and social.  They have nothing bad to say about him.  The couple i met in florida when i went out for drinks with Eddie also know him and hold him in high regard.  Right in front of Eddie the woman told me he would treat me like a queen and take me all over the world......

I'd like it if he just treated me like an equal and a person he cares about.  

Why is that so hard to find.

Anyway, these Mediterranean males - the traditional ones - these are the ones i seem to get along with and consider as potential partners.  Maybe it's because they cook.

Here i am, raised myself since i was 16 with no family but my children and friends, can't cook, swears too much, fiercely independent and  opinionated....that seems like more of a clash than a peaceful union.  

Yet....i keep trying. I don't need anyone to take care of my life, but i do want someone to take care of my heart. Keep it safe.  Value it like i would value theirs. 

Since this is the last guy i spoke with on the dating site i'll see where it goes but i'm all set moving forward.  I can't do this year of dating bullshit i thought i was going to do.  I don't know how to meet men but that's fine.  I'm good.  Winter is around the corner and it will be time to cuddle down inside with my fake fireplace and a good books.

Maybe some wine. 



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