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Uneventful

 yesterday i looked up from my project at work and realized i had stayed past the time i "can" leave.  It was so quiet and i was so involved with what i was doing, the time flew.

I love moments like that, when i'm so absorbed, not distracted - just, ON.

The only other time that happens is in bed, with an outstanding partner.  Time doesn't matter, or even exist. I miss that.

On the way in to work i heard "Got what i got" by Jason Aldean and man......that song hits me in the feels.  I want that.  Unrealistic? perhaps.  But...that is what i want; to invoke that kind of feeling and emotion in ONE man.  I have felt this way with a few men, and the feelings were not returned.

So.

On with my work, my happiness spending time in my home, making plans for the future as a single dingle and plans to travel with my friends and family.  This is what i look forward to, and can depend on.

No, i'm not sad.  I'm reflecting on everything i have in my life to be grateful for.  I have successfully rooted out fake and/or toxic people and i'm a lucky woman to see how many solid people are in my life.

Nothing new to report.  Last night i indulged in giving myself a pedicure and listening to podcasts....Tonight i think I will do some coloring and perhaps a live on TikTok.  

I was remembering how i used to read to the boys at the shelter when i worked third shift.  Ages 11-17 but all had the same curfew and lights out time.....bedtime was the toughest, for them and for staff.  I would put my chair in the middle of the dark hallway lined with rooms that held boys in bunkbeds and read to  them using a flashlight.  They would settle in to listen and most would fall asleep.  Others would quietly beg for "one more chapter".  

I truly loved those times.  I felt as if i made it easier for them, gave them some comfort that young men won't ask for, but still need.  Hell, i wish someone would read to me at night when the weight of the world is rocketing through my head and all the worries and upsets from the day come to the forefront of my mind.  Maybe thats why true crime podcasts put me to sleep at night.  It quiets my little inconveniences.


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