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Happy Monday

 just saw a video of a man i follow saying "If that man keeps finding a way to contact you even though you have blocked him in every way possible....he is the one.  OR he is completely pyscho."

Hmm.

When speaking to Mr. Cigars ex/not ex - she told me that he always found a way to reach back out to her on facebook.  That was his modus operandi.  Is, apparently.  And he doesn't hide who he is.  He says nothing, just sends the eyeballs emoji.  Like a psycho.  I've stopped blocking because it doesn't seem to matter.  I'd rather just ignore him, and refuse to give him access.  He needs mental help.  A true Narcissist and i hate using that word because it seems like every woman uses it for every break up.

I have a bad habit of attracting Narcissists.  But Mr. Cigar, he is so textbook it's not funny. Has me on edge, and that's not good for me.......or him. 

Last night i started watching the documentary "One Night in Idaho" by accident because i was watching the documentary "Helter Skelter" and doing my nails. It ended and went straight into One Night in Idaho, which i've had zero ability to watch.  It's heartbreaking and at this point, my emotions and mental health don't need any extra weight.  

BUT, it started, and i was watching it before i really realized what i was watching.  They've done it very well.  I was right though, it upset me and yet i couldn't stop watching.  I only watched the first episode because i saw myself staying up all night to finish and being a basket case. 

I'm not sure if i will continue to watch it.  I was freaking out in the shower this morning because i thought i heard someone in my apartment.  There i am, soaking wet, dripping all over the place and dashing out of the shower (element of surprise) to beat the shit out of whoever is in my place.  My heart hammering in my chest.....running around wet, naked and ready to rumble - It must have been a sight.

No one was there.  Just my pets looking at me like "oh, what now"

So thats how my day started.  

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