Skip to main content

Gorgeous

 I'm lucky.

I live in a beautiful area and most times i drive through it not even paying attention.

This morning, I did.

Whats that saying?  Appreciate what you have and don't worry about what you don't have.

Succinct.

Dressing a little artsy today, with the flowy trendy pants and a beautiful see-through top (that i have a tank under obviously)  Jewelry, crazy hair, red lips.  Platform Sorel sandals........i'm feeling myself today.

Nice to go into my closet and know whatever i choose will fit.  It won't be too tight.  i won't look like a stuffed sausage.  If anything, it may be too big.  and thats easy to fix.

Saw my GP yesterday, and actually requested she up my dose of meds.  Im feeling pretty bitchy lately- and literally nothing to bitch about.  She told me to go back to therapy and gave me an additional script for "as needed".  

I'm happy.  But i'm not happy.  Everything is setting me off.  Stupid stuff is setting me off. 

Am i even interested in the man i'm talking to?  It's hard to tell.  Give it time.  

I did start reading an actual physical book yesterday and it felt lovely.  It's good.  It grabbed me immediately- "The lost bookshop" by Evie Woods.  It's been out for a while, i picked it up at the GoodWill when i was shopping with Jen and Doug.  Thought i'd bring it on vacation, but knew i'd not touch it, so here we are........reading it now.

Books have always been such a comfort to me.  I have so many that i've purchased that i havent read because i have the kindle which is lighter and easier.  Plus i can read spicey books and no one knows.  BUT the physical act of reading an actual book is almost a religious experience, with rituals, and senses......I need to give the kindle a break for a while.

Okay.  Lets be positive today.  Let's make an actual effort at choosing to be happy.  This is a phase.  It too shall pass.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Let's talk about Mr. Racecar

 I admit it.  I am a little bit excited about meeting Mr. Racecar.   He's younger- 53 He's taller, and bigger than me He has tats, bald head and long beard He builds cars/trucks and drag races - own his shop which is attached to his home.  ONE is a Camaro.  It sounds NASTY. He lives an hour away Now......here's what happens in my head:  What the hell could this man possibly see in me?  Why would he want to meet me?  He- owns a Harley but hasn't ridden it in a few years due to a car accident that left him unable to walk again until recently. He is a typical male in that some of his talk tries to lead me down the "lets talk about sex, baby, lets talk about you and me" side of things, which I have successfully diverted without him losing interest. I'm looking to date, to find the man I want to have a relationship with, not a situationship. And then I had to explain what a situationship is because he has only just started dating again, and he is ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »

I love ChatGPT

 I am extremely transparent with my emotions because i do not have the ability to NOT be.  My only option when i'm having any feelings is to talk in a very low, slow, monotone voice and keep my face as blank as i possibly can. Unless they mean something to me. Unless i care about them and how they treat me.  So while i'm perfectly okay with never seeing or hearing from Mr. Cigar again, in light of his true self unveiling, I am overthinking my expression of emotions to him.   I took this little conversation and put it into ChatGPT with no questions or directions and this is what i got back: This exchange captures a painful and emotionally charged moment. Your initial message was heartfelt, vulnerable, and expressed a genuine desire for connection and acknowledgment. His response, while polite on the surface, carried a sharp undercurrent of blame and finality—deflecting accountability and subtly rewriting the narrative as your fault. Ending it with “safe travels ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »

I danced.

 This past Saturday night i revisited what it felt like to be the zero fucks ME.   I had talked myself out of going out that night.  I dragged my ass around the house and thought of every reason to text my girlfriend an excuse about why i wasn't going out. I had many valid reasons.  Putting on real clothes, trying to make myself attractive, going somewhere i've never been all by myself to walk up to a man i've been talking to, but haven't ever met face to face.   Okay, Mb.  Just put on your sassy pants and go do it.  Nothing to lose, everything to gain.   But PJs.   No.   On my way I get a text from my gf, she's running late.  When i get to the venue I ask her "how late" and she says about 1/2 an hour. She's picking up our other 2 girlfriends. Do i sit out here in the car for half an hour like a baby when his gig starts in half hour, or do i go inside by myself (getting used to that) and find him, say hello ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »