Walking Barefoot in Snow

It's time. Now that i'm living in Manchester, making a life here - I need to work closer to home.  This commute is wasting a minimum of 2 hours a day from my time to do other things.  More fun things than dodging in and out of traffic....yes, i'm that person now.  I will say that ever since i've had to commute i've become aggressive on the road.  The ride is too long to be polite. I DON'T terrify passengers however.........because he is 5lbs and can barely see out the window.   It's time. I've taken harassment and general disregard from ONE person at work for 6 years.  I'm tired. I've done my time with difficult people and honestly, they can't pay me enough to work for her anymore and they never did. It's no longer a challenge to try and keep her happy.  It can't be done.  She wins.  She is the ONE person i've worked for who finds nothing but fault. I can thank her though, because even with the commute i was finding it hard ...

I love this.  So simple a thought and so absolutely accurate.  So many times my table has been empty, or filled with rotted fruit, drawing flies...... But not anymore.  I love saying that.  Feeling that. Although, it DOES make me uncomfortable at times because this is an entirely new feeling for me.  It's taking me some time to readjust, let my guard down, enjoy the feeling.......trust the feeling.  I'm always waiting for the "real" situation to reveal itself.  So much so that during a conversation with a close friend we decided that I should make an appointment with my therapist to discuss the "NO DRAMA" in my life.  My brain tells me  that this is how it was always supposed to be.  Honestly i'm still afraid to believe it fully.  I'm waiting for that moment that may very well never arrive.  You know, the one where he reveals himself to be a total asshole that just wants to use me, or control me. Or belittle me to ...

I had an experience this morning that I feel the need to share.  I won't be filing a complaint, or telling anyone off - because that wouldn't change what happened, nor would it keep it from happening again. My work has a program where workshops on health are offered throughout the year.   If an employee attends two workshops and has a note from their doctor that they have received a well visit, that employee will receive a financial incentive. You know i want that incentive.  Right?  I mean, it would be "crazy" not to.  So I signed up for the first workshop offered this year, on healthy but satisfying breakfasts that are easy to prepare for people who have a hard time finding the time.  Sounds good. When i signed up, i did not remind HR that I have a service dog.  And if you didn't already know, I do.  He is 5 pounds and is with me 24/7.  He does not shed, drool, or bark without reason.  Most people don't even know he is with ...

The holidays came, and went, faster than ever before. I think this is where I start lamenting on my age........I turned 50.  I feel like 30.  Anyways, my brain does.  My body likes to remind me that parts will need to be ordered soon.  As much as certain parts of me hurt, I'm not mad about it.  I'm probably the best i've been in a long time.  Now, If i can get Michael to stop bringing me goodies, i bet i could look better than i have in a long time too. Even that, i'm not mad about. The holiday was indeed joyful.  Good news was had and good gifts were shared.  I was able to decorate a Christmas tree exactly how i wanted to and now.....I feel like it was over rated.  I missed the kids ornaments.  The tree was gorgeous if i do say so myself, but it lacked the spirit of Christmas's past.  I do believe that was exactly what i wanted when i decided to do this "planned" tree.  All i can say is be careful what you wish for....