The holidays came, and went, faster than ever before.
I think this is where I start lamenting on my age........I turned 50. I feel like 30. Anyways, my brain does. My body likes to remind me that parts will need to be ordered soon. As much as certain parts of me hurt, I'm not mad about it. I'm probably the best i've been in a long time.
Now, If i can get Michael to stop bringing me goodies, i bet i could look better than i have in a long time too. Even that, i'm not mad about.
The holiday was indeed joyful. Good news was had and good gifts were shared. I was able to decorate a Christmas tree exactly how i wanted to and now.....I feel like it was over rated. I missed the kids ornaments. The tree was gorgeous if i do say so myself, but it lacked the spirit of Christmas's past. I do believe that was exactly what i wanted when i decided to do this "planned" tree. All i can say is be careful what you wish for. Looking better doesn't mean it IS better.
I was able to spend time with Michael's family and my own this year because my children agreed to "fake Christmas". We spent the real holiday with his family and then a week later we did it all over again with mine. I must say, it extended the season and the excitement for me - the general good feeling of the holiday x 2. There were tears, of course, because that's what i do. I'm a big fat cry baby when i don't get my way, or when i'm afraid i won't get to see my kids as planned. It rocks my little world. But i also got a good lesson in not doing that EVER again to my children as it is manipulative and unwelcome - I just had to see someone else do it to learn. My children, aren't, children. They have their own lives just like they are supposed to. I need to be grateful, not sad.
It just feels like i've lost a lot over the past few years. But in the same respect, i've gained as well. And i don't mean pounds you asshole, whoever you are, that thought that.
So what else? I have no burning anything I need to flush out of my mind by writing. Yet. I'm sure it won't last long because i have so many feelings about so many things.....Consider this a respite. It's a new year and who knows what can happen? I've always been surprised in the past so this year probably won't be much different.
Oh, one nice thing about the holiday is getting messages from people you don't get to see or talk to very often. I don't believe in resolutions, as much as "life changes" but I DO resolve to keep better contact with people in one way or another. Letter writing, phone calls, emails, or even cards. Cards shouldn't be reserved for special occasions! Email me at maribeth.lineberry@gmail.com if you want to exchange cards and I will send you my address. For reals.
I wish you all love, (of yourself and others) good health, good fashion sense, laughter and quiet contemplation in the New Year.
I think this is where I start lamenting on my age........I turned 50. I feel like 30. Anyways, my brain does. My body likes to remind me that parts will need to be ordered soon. As much as certain parts of me hurt, I'm not mad about it. I'm probably the best i've been in a long time.
Now, If i can get Michael to stop bringing me goodies, i bet i could look better than i have in a long time too. Even that, i'm not mad about.
The holiday was indeed joyful. Good news was had and good gifts were shared. I was able to decorate a Christmas tree exactly how i wanted to and now.....I feel like it was over rated. I missed the kids ornaments. The tree was gorgeous if i do say so myself, but it lacked the spirit of Christmas's past. I do believe that was exactly what i wanted when i decided to do this "planned" tree. All i can say is be careful what you wish for. Looking better doesn't mean it IS better.
I was able to spend time with Michael's family and my own this year because my children agreed to "fake Christmas". We spent the real holiday with his family and then a week later we did it all over again with mine. I must say, it extended the season and the excitement for me - the general good feeling of the holiday x 2. There were tears, of course, because that's what i do. I'm a big fat cry baby when i don't get my way, or when i'm afraid i won't get to see my kids as planned. It rocks my little world. But i also got a good lesson in not doing that EVER again to my children as it is manipulative and unwelcome - I just had to see someone else do it to learn. My children, aren't, children. They have their own lives just like they are supposed to. I need to be grateful, not sad.
It just feels like i've lost a lot over the past few years. But in the same respect, i've gained as well. And i don't mean pounds you asshole, whoever you are, that thought that.
So what else? I have no burning anything I need to flush out of my mind by writing. Yet. I'm sure it won't last long because i have so many feelings about so many things.....Consider this a respite. It's a new year and who knows what can happen? I've always been surprised in the past so this year probably won't be much different.
Oh, one nice thing about the holiday is getting messages from people you don't get to see or talk to very often. I don't believe in resolutions, as much as "life changes" but I DO resolve to keep better contact with people in one way or another. Letter writing, phone calls, emails, or even cards. Cards shouldn't be reserved for special occasions! Email me at maribeth.lineberry@gmail.com if you want to exchange cards and I will send you my address. For reals.
I wish you all love, (of yourself and others) good health, good fashion sense, laughter and quiet contemplation in the New Year.
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