Skip to main content

we should be able to write our ex's dating profiles

I'm dabbling again, seeing who and what is out there in the dating pool, cautiously sticking my toe into the water to find out if i will go swimming again.

It's not looking good, but honestly, i'm not trying very hard.  I almost feel like i've done my time, as it were, in romantic relationships.  When i say this to any of my female friends i get "you haven't had your great love yet.  it will come"  When i say this to my male friends they say "don't even bother, we are all assholes".  

Well that's the gist of it, if not the exact words. 

I feel that i have had two great loves, and that neither one was meant to last forever, and that they probably lasted a lot longer than they should have.  One, to have my beautiful children with, the other, to find my SELF with.  I don't know what i gave to them, or how i added or subtracted from their lives, and that is not for me to know.  

Maybe love really is like that plant i'm always hearing about, the one you have to water and fertilize forever, sometimes cutting the roots so it can flourish.......and sometimes it just withers away no matter what you do just because it is simply done.

Parting always hurts, but can i just say, dating is a different kind of pain?  Its like waxing.  Quick and uncomfortable and before you know it, you have to do it AGAIN.  The good part is you eventually develop a resistance to the discomfort however, i have yet to look forward to it.  Dating, or waxing.  To be clear.

I've come to the conclusion that dating sites are bullshit.  Pick one, they are all the same.  Women get flooded with "hi,hey,hello" and comments on "your lovely smile" or something to that effect.  Sometimes you get a stock letter, like when you are sending out resumes.......which no one reads either.  OR, maybe you get a smart alec who is trying way to hard to be funny, or endearing.  The same one will go on a warpath if you do not respond to said witticisms.  I don't think they have any idea how NOT original they are and how unattractive whiny "why won't you talk to me" is.  So it can get scary as well as tedious. 

Once in a while I hit on a man who is funny and articulate, who appears to be happy and have his act together.  Really.  It's true, i'm told they do in fact exist out here in dating world.  And then.......you find out why they are single.  Their dating profile failed to mention a few key facts.  Important ones.

This is why i feel like we should be able to write our ex's dating profiles, so that the details don't get conveniently lost.  Also, when they DO find a woman who will talk to them, and go out with them, they will be a match made on truths.  I find that truth saves time.  Here is my fictional man, made up of the dates and relationships i've had, explained to the average women who is just getting started out there.

Tag line:  Guess who's back?  Shady's back. 
Age:  a lot older or younger than what my pictures are showing
Location:  however far you are willing to drive to meet me
Intent: I would like you to have a relationship with me, just me, while i continue to search for the next best woman.  OR, i want to be exclusive with you for as long as you agree with me, and do everything for me.
Height: 2 inches shorter than whatever I tell you I am
Body type:  I, am balding but holding on to the hair i have left, have a flat ass and sagging balls. My legs are skinny with knobby knees topped by a beer gut.  My arms aren't strong enough for missionary for more than a minute or two so you will need to always be on top.  I hope you like it there.  
I am seeking: A model. She should be tall (or short) and blonde (or brunette, redhead) she should be slender but have a big butt and big boobs.  She should dress slutty, but not be too comfortable with her own sexuality.  She should be smart, but think what i tell her to.  She should have friends for when i want her out of my hair, but not expect me to actually know them.  She should be able to make any and all plans, which i will back out of if something better comes up.  Also, she should always be available for whatever I want to do, with a smile and no back talk.
Marital Status: Don't trust me on this, you will need to do a background check for sure
Interests:  Smoking copious amounts of weed, sitting in front of the television or on youtube, hanging out in the garage smoking more weed, hanging out with my buddies, smoking weed, Fixing muscle cars, bikes, motorcycles and snowmobiles.......as long as they aren't yours. Driving muscle cars , getting tickets, doing smoke shows, breaking parts, spending more money on muscle cars, bikes, motorcycles and snowmobiles.  I will always have money for muscle cars, motorcycles dirtbikes and snowmobiles, but i will never pay my bills on time or in full.  We will only go away for weekends or on vacation with other people. 

so why do i date at all?  Because i'm a romantic at heart, and I believe that someday.........maybe....i will find my third love.  For now though, i'm going to stop with the bullshit dating websites.  It feels more like i need to take a shower than swim with the fishes.... 






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Let's talk about Mr. Racecar

 I admit it.  I am a little bit excited about meeting Mr. Racecar.   He's younger- 53 He's taller, and bigger than me He has tats, bald head and long beard He builds cars/trucks and drag races - own his shop which is attached to his home.  ONE is a Camaro.  It sounds NASTY. He lives an hour away Now......here's what happens in my head:  What the hell could this man possibly see in me?  Why would he want to meet me?  He- owns a Harley but hasn't ridden it in a few years due to a car accident that left him unable to walk again until recently. He is a typical male in that some of his talk tries to lead me down the "lets talk about sex, baby, lets talk about you and me" side of things, which I have successfully diverted without him losing interest. I'm looking to date, to find the man I want to have a relationship with, not a situationship. And then I had to explain what a situationship is because he has only just started dating again, and he is ...

I danced.

 This past Saturday night i revisited what it felt like to be the zero fucks ME.   I had talked myself out of going out that night.  I dragged my ass around the house and thought of every reason to text my girlfriend an excuse about why i wasn't going out. I had many valid reasons.  Putting on real clothes, trying to make myself attractive, going somewhere i've never been all by myself to walk up to a man i've been talking to, but haven't ever met face to face.   Okay, Mb.  Just put on your sassy pants and go do it.  Nothing to lose, everything to gain.   But PJs.   No.   On my way I get a text from my gf, she's running late.  When i get to the venue I ask her "how late" and she says about 1/2 an hour. She's picking up our other 2 girlfriends. Do i sit out here in the car for half an hour like a baby when his gig starts in half hour, or do i go inside by myself (getting used to that) and find him, say hello ...

Secrets

 Yesterday I found myself telling someone something about my life that I had not planned on sharing.  We don't really talk too much about our past relationships.  We aren't there yet and i don't know that it's really important.  It's not a race to the finish line.  There is time.   This was just the natural time to share the information. I have very few regrets in my life, some things i may have done differently, but even so, without regret.  Everything has brought me to who i am today.  This got me thinking of how much I've changed, that i would not even put the energy into defending anything I've done because i don't have to, and because i don't want to, or need to.  This also brought to mind how often judgement used to rule my world, and how I felt about myself. I married very young, to my high school boyfriend.  For many reasons, all i ever wanted (in my wisdom of 21 years) was to get married, have babies, and live happily ever ...