I'm dabbling again, seeing who and what is out there in the dating pool, cautiously sticking my toe into the water to find out if i will go swimming again.
It's not looking good, but honestly, i'm not trying very hard. I almost feel like i've done my time, as it were, in romantic relationships. When i say this to any of my female friends i get "you haven't had your great love yet. it will come" When i say this to my male friends they say "don't even bother, we are all assholes".
Well that's the gist of it, if not the exact words.
I feel that i have had two great loves, and that neither one was meant to last forever, and that they probably lasted a lot longer than they should have. One, to have my beautiful children with, the other, to find my SELF with. I don't know what i gave to them, or how i added or subtracted from their lives, and that is not for me to know.
Maybe love really is like that plant i'm always hearing about, the one you have to water and fertilize forever, sometimes cutting the roots so it can flourish.......and sometimes it just withers away no matter what you do just because it is simply done.
Parting always hurts, but can i just say, dating is a different kind of pain? Its like waxing. Quick and uncomfortable and before you know it, you have to do it AGAIN. The good part is you eventually develop a resistance to the discomfort however, i have yet to look forward to it. Dating, or waxing. To be clear.
I've come to the conclusion that dating sites are bullshit. Pick one, they are all the same. Women get flooded with "hi,hey,hello" and comments on "your lovely smile" or something to that effect. Sometimes you get a stock letter, like when you are sending out resumes.......which no one reads either. OR, maybe you get a smart alec who is trying way to hard to be funny, or endearing. The same one will go on a warpath if you do not respond to said witticisms. I don't think they have any idea how NOT original they are and how unattractive whiny "why won't you talk to me" is. So it can get scary as well as tedious.
Once in a while I hit on a man who is funny and articulate, who appears to be happy and have his act together. Really. It's true, i'm told they do in fact exist out here in dating world. And then.......you find out why they are single. Their dating profile failed to mention a few key facts. Important ones.
This is why i feel like we should be able to write our ex's dating profiles, so that the details don't get conveniently lost. Also, when they DO find a woman who will talk to them, and go out with them, they will be a match made on truths. I find that truth saves time. Here is my fictional man, made up of the dates and relationships i've had, explained to the average women who is just getting started out there.
Tag line: Guess who's back? Shady's back.
Age: a lot older or younger than what my pictures are showing
Location: however far you are willing to drive to meet me
Intent: I would like you to have a relationship with me, just me, while i continue to search for the next best woman. OR, i want to be exclusive with you for as long as you agree with me, and do everything for me.
Height: 2 inches shorter than whatever I tell you I am
Body type: I, am balding but holding on to the hair i have left, have a flat ass and sagging balls. My legs are skinny with knobby knees topped by a beer gut. My arms aren't strong enough for missionary for more than a minute or two so you will need to always be on top. I hope you like it there.
I am seeking: A model. She should be tall (or short) and blonde (or brunette, redhead) she should be slender but have a big butt and big boobs. She should dress slutty, but not be too comfortable with her own sexuality. She should be smart, but think what i tell her to. She should have friends for when i want her out of my hair, but not expect me to actually know them. She should be able to make any and all plans, which i will back out of if something better comes up. Also, she should always be available for whatever I want to do, with a smile and no back talk.
Marital Status: Don't trust me on this, you will need to do a background check for sure
Interests: Smoking copious amounts of weed, sitting in front of the television or on youtube, hanging out in the garage smoking more weed, hanging out with my buddies, smoking weed, Fixing muscle cars, bikes, motorcycles and snowmobiles.......as long as they aren't yours. Driving muscle cars , getting tickets, doing smoke shows, breaking parts, spending more money on muscle cars, bikes, motorcycles and snowmobiles. I will always have money for muscle cars, motorcycles dirtbikes and snowmobiles, but i will never pay my bills on time or in full. We will only go away for weekends or on vacation with other people.
so why do i date at all? Because i'm a romantic at heart, and I believe that someday.........maybe....i will find my third love. For now though, i'm going to stop with the bullshit dating websites. It feels more like i need to take a shower than swim with the fishes....
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