This weekend has been filled with dust, sweat, heat, work, laughter, "breaks", seriousness, shopping, laundry, and general "where do we start?" ..... It hit me in the middle of moving furniture and not even bothering to wipe the sweat pouring off me....i fucking love it all, and everybody.
I can't look at that smile, those blue eyes...and feel anything but...free. odd word to use right? We have been working together on the hottest most humid day and at times literally just laying on the floor trying to cool off and not ONE cranky word or vibe has passed. That's new. For me.
I'm not holding my breath, being pulled down with negativity or having to leave the area due to filthy looks being thrown my way. He is happy to consider and implement every damn thing I've suggested without an ounce of frustration or having to make me feel like I'm asking for the moon to shoot out his ass for my entertainment.
I'm not used to this. I also know that frustration with each other is going to happen eventually because that's just how life goes.
He talks to me. He lets me talk to him. He doesn't treat me like I've got nothing interesting to contribute. I'm not discounted.
I come first.
He hasn't said that. He shows me that by his every action and word. He hasn't had to give up any of his freedom or manhood to make me know this is true.
And now I'm loving every thing about my life and everyone who is in it, or has been. Because I'm here now. It's everything that has ever happened in my life that brought me here. How can I NOT be grateful for everyone who has participated in helping me learn to see, and arrive?
This is how I've always meant to be treated. And it has nothing to do with money. Completely free when given willingly. And I get to return the feeling and have it not only accepted, but cherished.
For the first time in my life.
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