Skip to main content

What exactly IS THIS?

Is it coincidental that the two posts over the past two years have taken place over the summer and here I am again........hopefully with more than one post this year.

The problem is that i haven't figured out how I want to use this blog.  In past versions on yahoo 360 (anyone remember THAT?) and multiply (or THAT?) I used blogging as a way to detox through writing.  Every poisonous, noxious thought or happening got spewed onto my blog right along side any happy occurrences and rememberings.  Therapy to be sure, appropriate? Not so sure.  Suffice it to say that there were some readers who were not thrilled when they found themselves in my blog.  Because this is a public forum I have to admit that some things need not to be shared and they are usually the very things that you can't keep inside.

So perhaps this time it will not be about verbal vomit.

At 45 years of age I am back to taking courses at the University I work for.  Why? Because i love learning, love knowledge, love being mentally challenged and because i can.  Writing has been my greatest challenge because i'm no longer comfortable with it in a formal sense.  Blogging may loosen me up but it isn't going to tighten up my skills when it comes to submitting formal thought and communication........philosophy being my passion.  So perhaps this blog can be about random topics that I pick from the air just for the sake of writing.  How boring is that?

Maybe this blog will be about absolutely nothing, however, very well written if not ever read.

I'll have to spend some time dressing this place up.  It's pretty blah. 

The conclusion i'm coming to is that this blog will be whatever i'm feeling like that day- analytical, emotional, etc.  Let this be an exercise in writing and see where it takes me. us?  oh and i just found spell check........already a good start.

Popular posts from this blog

I love ChatGPT

 I am extremely transparent with my emotions because i do not have the ability to NOT be.  My only option when i'm having any feelings is to talk in a very low, slow, monotone voice and keep my face as blank as i possibly can. Unless they mean something to me. Unless i care about them and how they treat me.  So while i'm perfectly okay with never seeing or hearing from Mr. Cigar again, in light of his true self unveiling, I am overthinking my expression of emotions to him.   I took this little conversation and put it into ChatGPT with no questions or directions and this is what i got back: This exchange captures a painful and emotionally charged moment. Your initial message was heartfelt, vulnerable, and expressed a genuine desire for connection and acknowledgment. His response, while polite on the surface, carried a sharp undercurrent of blame and finality—deflecting accountability and subtly rewriting the narrative as your fault. Ending it with “safe travels ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »

Same stuff

 Nothing new to report.   I've been managing my anxiety, trying to, at least.  I know when it's kicking up and i know it's temporary.   Still doing physical therapy, walking, stretching, losing weight VERY slowly.  Not so easy to lose it at my age.  But i have an appointment in September to discuss hormone replacement and i think that may help me out with body aches and lethargy. Mr. Cigar is as busy as ever, yet always manages to make me feel important in his life.  It's been only 3 months and that shocks me a little bit.  Feels like it's been so much longer.  The pace is perfect, and it's nice to not have to make power moves with him.   I need to see my kids.  I think about them daily and know they have busy lives.  But i feel disconnected sometimes.  Same with some of my friends.  It's really hard for me to reach out.  To anyone. And i've also been enjoying my "do absolutely nothing" time. ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »

Sunday funday

 I stayed in bed until 8am.  Yes, i was scrolling my phone, but still........i was in bed.  Also, i made coffee and brought it BACK to bed.....so yes, technically, i remained in bed until 8am. I have a hard time staying up past 9pm.  And then i can't sleep past 6:30 at the latest.  When did that happen? Yesterday, i was ready for bed by 7pm at the birthday party.   I got to hold, okay, i TOOK the 6 day old premie babie and cradled his little body for a longggg time.  I layed him in my lap so i could see him, and he could strettttttttch his tiny body.  This little boy, normally, would still be baking in the womb.......but here he is, tiny and mighty, in my lap.  His tiny hands, his tiny FEET.  OMG.  New mamma was happy to be with her family and socialize, but new daddy, stayed close.  He talked about all the things CJ does already.......sleep, eat, poop.   He is a very nice young man, very in tune with his sons wh...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »