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Married Men and i have a potty mouth i know it

This is what happens....i get peaceful, and relatively happy and i think "let me take a look" and i join a dating site.  I'm instantly reminded of why i closed accounts in the past.   But, how else to go about it?

Now..i've met some nice men.  I've even made some of them good friends.  Without those sites, i would have missed out on a lot of laughs and different perspectives.  Friendship with the opposite sex, especially new friendship when you are both single...it's important.  You learn a lot about yourself.  But that's not what this blog is about...

This is about mother fucking married men who join dating sites and represent themselves as single.

And WASTE MY TIME.

Here's a thought.  How about instead of trying to pick up women who don't mind fucking a taken man..(theres another blog)..how about you put that energy into your wife?  And if she isn't into it....why are you still married?  Divorce takes a lot of energy.  Focus on fixing your shit and then you can find a good woman who will treat you right.  ah, but you don't want that.  And you think I DO?  Fuck off Cheater.

Or bottom feed and bitch and moan about your current woman to your NEXT dumb ass woman.

I'm mad.  No.  I'm seeing red.  I'll be over it by tomorrow.  But right NOW i'm pissed off and disgusted.

breathe....

Like i said, i've met nice men, no, wonderful, kind, sexy, funny men....who just weren't right for me.  I've grown wise enough to know that no matter how hard i could try, if it isn't going to work....it isn't going to work.  Liking someone isn't enough for the long haul.

I'm starting to think i'm asking for too much.....but hell, i'm not even ASKING for anything.

I want a man who isn't going to be lodged up my ass 24/7, who trusts me to have some things in my life that he is not the center off, that he knows when i love a man i am with THAT man and ONLY that man....because that is what a relationship is to me.  We are still separate people, that enjoy activities the other may not be interested in.  I like to read, research, write...thats not a couple activity.  I shouldn't have to give up a part of me to make him feel safe.  Or vice versa.  BUT I do want to share a life.

Is that impossible?

I want to have friends, family and US in common.  I want to do things together, like travel, camp, learn, experience....build.  a life.  together.   I want to talk into the night by the fire. or not talk.  I want to get excited about plans we are making together.  I want to argue about politics like two people who respect each others opinion, if not always agree. I want to feel protected and safe, and for him to feel relieved and relaxed with me.  I'm safe haven, so is he.  I look forward to him, can't live long without hearing or seeing him......and he feels that way about me.

But i can still go to my besties house and drink too much and stay over and it's ok.  He doesn't think i'm with another man.  Or Worse, he doesn't not give a shit where i am.    I've had both versions.  Neither is what any woman needs.  She needs "stay, have fun" or "do you want me to come pick your drunk ass up?"  see?  It's confidence and want....not control or disregard.

OR he wants to go on a guys trip, where they do man things - you know what i do?  I pack his bags.  and tell him to have fun.  I miss him while he's gone and I'm happy when i get to see him again.  It wouldn't matter if he was going to the middle of nowhere or to a Harley Rendezvous.....because i would be able to TRUST him.  No questions asked.

I have never had that.  I want that.  I won't be in a relationship withOUT that.

I tell myself on the daily, men go after what they want.  Its true.  They do.  And if he's the kind that doesn't.....he's not for me. I'm strong, he needs to be strong.  I can't be with a man that gets his feelings hurt easy or has low self worth because i bust ass, and yes, i can take having my ass handed to me back. I speak my truth and it's not always polished up pretty. I like to have fun, i tease, i laugh, i am goofy sometimes........and others, i am a block of ice.  I've learned not to waste my fire on a man who doesn't deserve it.  I used to fight, cry, care too much.  I've learned that a man will do what a man will do, and you either accept it or not.  Fighting doesn't change a damn thing.  So now i let him show me who he is.

And they always do show you who they are.  Let them.  And believe it.




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