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Day 6

Down 7 pounds, haven’t had ANY acid indigestion since I started AND I put on a ring that didn’t fit less than a week ago.


So.  Totally worth it.


I don’t have to think about food all day, when can I have it, what can I have, how MUCH can I have?  I don’t have to plan today what I want to eat 5 days from now, like another weight loss plan I tried and just couldn’t stick with.


 


I don’t have an addiction to food that I’ve heard others talk about.  I thought I might, but what I have is actually pure laziness.  Also, at times I allow myself to get so hungry that I just start eating whatever is in sight, or easiest- like that drive thru poison.  That’s part of what makes me so frustrated, I KNOW BETTER.  I just don’t take proper care of myself.


 


Didn’t. 


 


Am I excited that I’m down?  Hell yeah.  Do I feel more energy, yes indeed.  And when I’m tired I’m TIRED tired……..which I know makes sense to a lot of you.


 


I had an “OSV” off scale victory - ?  I think that’s what it’s called- Sunday was a rollercoaster of emotions day, and it reached peak when I found out a friend to me had passed unexpectedly.  She was quite a bit younger than I, and I had just spoken with her a few weeks ago.  I knew one part of her, the kind, animal loving, free spirited hippie part.  I didn’t always appreciate her, especially when I first met her.  But something about her resonated with me, and we developed a relationship outside of the people we knew in common, and history.  She was very wise for her age, but prone to the same faults the rest of us fight- addiction, stress, etc.


 


When I had to share this information with someone I knew loved her dearly, but had cut ties for valid reasons years ago, I was overwhelmed with sorrow for both of them………the keening of my dear friends shock and disbelief left me emotionally raw.  So much pain, all the way around.  It’s what happen when a SISTER leaves us………no matter how long it’s been since our eyes have met. 


 


Last week, I would have cracked open a bottle of wine and had a nice big glass- maybe the whole bottle.  I would have felt justified, and yes, it would have helped numb my soul.  But I didn’t.  For one reason, I had made sure to empty my house out of all items that might tempt me.  Another reason is that- I have to take care of myself.  Sorrow is not an excuse to stop.


If anything, it’s a reason to continue.  When someone so young passes not only do I feel my own mortality, but I feel a responsibility to appreciate the life that I have, because I still have time to change what needs changing.  I still have time to say all the things.


 


 


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