Skip to main content

Meditations book 5 #24

 Remember:

Matter. How tiny your share of it.

Time. How brief and fleeting your allotment of it.

Fate. How small a role you play in it.



Well now.  If this isn't timely I'm not sure what is.

What matters a lot to me matters little to others, and vice versa.  We are all part of a much bigger picture and THAT should matter but when it comes down to individuals, we are temporary and not around very long.

Time seems to go on forever until you start nearing the end of it.  Then, you realize how little time is actually left and that is if you are lucky. So don't wait until the end of your life to start enjoying it.  Don't spend it being miserable because when you look back as you lay on your deathbed you want it flash on all the fun you had, the love you shared and the good you did.

Fate- not sure I believe in this at all.  We make our own fate by the decisions and choices we make and don't make.  Its the same story for everyone, it's the choices that differ.  I do think upbringing, trauma, and disfunction try to lead in our choices (it's what we know) but I don't feel we can't change that.


Because I have realized that I think about a lot more than I actually write about (which always seems to be about men) I've decided to randomly select from Marcus Aurelius's "Medications" once in a while.  Writing is focusing and there is so much more to focus on than myself.


Today a very special girl has a birthday and as she grows up I grow old.  Life.  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Let's talk about Mr. Racecar

 I admit it.  I am a little bit excited about meeting Mr. Racecar.   He's younger- 53 He's taller, and bigger than me He has tats, bald head and long beard He builds cars/trucks and drag races - own his shop which is attached to his home.  ONE is a Camaro.  It sounds NASTY. He lives an hour away Now......here's what happens in my head:  What the hell could this man possibly see in me?  Why would he want to meet me?  He- owns a Harley but hasn't ridden it in a few years due to a car accident that left him unable to walk again until recently. He is a typical male in that some of his talk tries to lead me down the "lets talk about sex, baby, lets talk about you and me" side of things, which I have successfully diverted without him losing interest. I'm looking to date, to find the man I want to have a relationship with, not a situationship. And then I had to explain what a situationship is because he has only just started dating again, and he is ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »

I love ChatGPT

 I am extremely transparent with my emotions because i do not have the ability to NOT be.  My only option when i'm having any feelings is to talk in a very low, slow, monotone voice and keep my face as blank as i possibly can. Unless they mean something to me. Unless i care about them and how they treat me.  So while i'm perfectly okay with never seeing or hearing from Mr. Cigar again, in light of his true self unveiling, I am overthinking my expression of emotions to him.   I took this little conversation and put it into ChatGPT with no questions or directions and this is what i got back: This exchange captures a painful and emotionally charged moment. Your initial message was heartfelt, vulnerable, and expressed a genuine desire for connection and acknowledgment. His response, while polite on the surface, carried a sharp undercurrent of blame and finality—deflecting accountability and subtly rewriting the narrative as your fault. Ending it with “safe travels ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »

I danced.

 This past Saturday night i revisited what it felt like to be the zero fucks ME.   I had talked myself out of going out that night.  I dragged my ass around the house and thought of every reason to text my girlfriend an excuse about why i wasn't going out. I had many valid reasons.  Putting on real clothes, trying to make myself attractive, going somewhere i've never been all by myself to walk up to a man i've been talking to, but haven't ever met face to face.   Okay, Mb.  Just put on your sassy pants and go do it.  Nothing to lose, everything to gain.   But PJs.   No.   On my way I get a text from my gf, she's running late.  When i get to the venue I ask her "how late" and she says about 1/2 an hour. She's picking up our other 2 girlfriends. Do i sit out here in the car for half an hour like a baby when his gig starts in half hour, or do i go inside by myself (getting used to that) and find him, say hello ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »