Skip to main content

Break from reality

 This morning i was listening to the news as I got ready for work, like I always do, when I decided "enough".  

So I opened a podcast and IT'S all about crimes so I promptly turned IT off.

Audio book?  Seems safe.  I'm listening to Stephen King's FairyTale.  It's okay.  Better than the news and my "favorite" podcasts.  So I go with that.

after shower I sit on my bed and review social media as I'm drying off.  Something sets me off and makes me VERY angry.  

I don't need this stupid shit in my life.

So I write a little "back later" note on my page and sign out of all my accounts.

I'm in a piss mood.  I've had just about enough of shitty situations I have no control over and yet seem to be front and center for.  No. More.

I want my life before the internet when I spent time with my family and friends to find out what they were up to, when I read books that had actual pages and weight........when I rented movies I wanted to watch instead of streaming reality television on automatic.

I'd like some peace.

From all of it.

So.  We'll see how long this lasts.  I'm assuming some type of withdrawal before I am officially quit.  I'm well acquainted with withdrawal.  

I'm thinking it may include writing here for a while, but I'll see.  Here, I'm the one producing toxins in the environment, cleansing myself and poisoning others in the process.  Ha.  That was extreme.  But kinda true.  

After all, I'm just talking to myself out loud here.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Let's talk about Mr. Racecar

 I admit it.  I am a little bit excited about meeting Mr. Racecar.   He's younger- 53 He's taller, and bigger than me He has tats, bald head and long beard He builds cars/trucks and drag races - own his shop which is attached to his home.  ONE is a Camaro.  It sounds NASTY. He lives an hour away Now......here's what happens in my head:  What the hell could this man possibly see in me?  Why would he want to meet me?  He- owns a Harley but hasn't ridden it in a few years due to a car accident that left him unable to walk again until recently. He is a typical male in that some of his talk tries to lead me down the "lets talk about sex, baby, lets talk about you and me" side of things, which I have successfully diverted without him losing interest. I'm looking to date, to find the man I want to have a relationship with, not a situationship. And then I had to explain what a situationship is because he has only just started dating again, and he is ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »

I danced.

 This past Saturday night i revisited what it felt like to be the zero fucks ME.   I had talked myself out of going out that night.  I dragged my ass around the house and thought of every reason to text my girlfriend an excuse about why i wasn't going out. I had many valid reasons.  Putting on real clothes, trying to make myself attractive, going somewhere i've never been all by myself to walk up to a man i've been talking to, but haven't ever met face to face.   Okay, Mb.  Just put on your sassy pants and go do it.  Nothing to lose, everything to gain.   But PJs.   No.   On my way I get a text from my gf, she's running late.  When i get to the venue I ask her "how late" and she says about 1/2 an hour. She's picking up our other 2 girlfriends. Do i sit out here in the car for half an hour like a baby when his gig starts in half hour, or do i go inside by myself (getting used to that) and find him, say hello ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »

Secrets

 Yesterday I found myself telling someone something about my life that I had not planned on sharing.  We don't really talk too much about our past relationships.  We aren't there yet and i don't know that it's really important.  It's not a race to the finish line.  There is time.   This was just the natural time to share the information. I have very few regrets in my life, some things i may have done differently, but even so, without regret.  Everything has brought me to who i am today.  This got me thinking of how much I've changed, that i would not even put the energy into defending anything I've done because i don't have to, and because i don't want to, or need to.  This also brought to mind how often judgement used to rule my world, and how I felt about myself. I married very young, to my high school boyfriend.  For many reasons, all i ever wanted (in my wisdom of 21 years) was to get married, have babies, and live happily ever ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »