Skip to main content

I don't need you

It was a summer night and i had just walked out of a bar that has long since closed in a town i eventually grew to love.  It was a first kiss that came out of nowhere from a man who drove an El Camino.  I was there with a friend we had in common, yes to meet him.  I was out of practice, having been with my husband for 20 years.  I felt seen by this tall, lean, long haired, tattooed man with the dark eyes and thick lashes..... wanted, desired.  The way he wouldn't stop staring at me, the quietness of him, the nearness...he was the distraction i was looking for. Training wheels. 

At the end of the night i followed him out of the parking lot, him leading me to the main road (before GPS) this song came on the radio.  We both stopped at the red light where i would go one way and he would go the other.  He jumped out of his car, ran back to mine and gave me another kiss through the open window.  We parted ways and we should have left it at that. 

This song will always make me remember when I had an open heart, hope, when fear of rejection, or of not being wanted by a man wasn't something i had learned yet.   He came to me when i needed that...but i didn't need him.  

I don't need anyone.



Ain't no need to worry

There ain't no use to cry'Cause I'll be comin' home soonTo keep you satisfied
You know I get so lonelyThat I feel I can't go onAnd it feels so good inside, babeJust to call you on the telephoneAnd I said
Ooh, baby, I love youWhat more can I sayOoh, baby, I need youI miss you more everyday
I woke up early this mornin'And sun came shining downAnd it found me wishin' and a-hopingMama, you could be around
Well, you know I need youMore than the air I breatheAnd I guess I'm just tryin' to tell you, womanOh, what you mean to me, yeah, yeah
Ooh, baby, I love youWhat more can I sayOoh, baby, I need youI miss you more everydayWhat I say
I'm tryin' to tell you I love youIn each and every wayI'm tryin' to tell you I need youMuch more than just a piece of leg
Ooh, baby, I love youWhat more can I sayOoh, baby, I need youI miss you more everyday
Ooh, baby I love, love, love, love youWhat more can I say, yeahOoh, baby I need your sweet lovin'I miss you more and more everyday, yeah
Ooh, baby, I love youBaby, baby, I need you

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I love ChatGPT

 I am extremely transparent with my emotions because i do not have the ability to NOT be.  My only option when i'm having any feelings is to talk in a very low, slow, monotone voice and keep my face as blank as i possibly can. Unless they mean something to me. Unless i care about them and how they treat me.  So while i'm perfectly okay with never seeing or hearing from Mr. Cigar again, in light of his true self unveiling, I am overthinking my expression of emotions to him.   I took this little conversation and put it into ChatGPT with no questions or directions and this is what i got back: This exchange captures a painful and emotionally charged moment. Your initial message was heartfelt, vulnerable, and expressed a genuine desire for connection and acknowledgment. His response, while polite on the surface, carried a sharp undercurrent of blame and finality—deflecting accountability and subtly rewriting the narrative as your fault. Ending it with “safe travels ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »

I danced.

 This past Saturday night i revisited what it felt like to be the zero fucks ME.   I had talked myself out of going out that night.  I dragged my ass around the house and thought of every reason to text my girlfriend an excuse about why i wasn't going out. I had many valid reasons.  Putting on real clothes, trying to make myself attractive, going somewhere i've never been all by myself to walk up to a man i've been talking to, but haven't ever met face to face.   Okay, Mb.  Just put on your sassy pants and go do it.  Nothing to lose, everything to gain.   But PJs.   No.   On my way I get a text from my gf, she's running late.  When i get to the venue I ask her "how late" and she says about 1/2 an hour. She's picking up our other 2 girlfriends. Do i sit out here in the car for half an hour like a baby when his gig starts in half hour, or do i go inside by myself (getting used to that) and find him, say hello ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »

Same stuff

 Nothing new to report.   I've been managing my anxiety, trying to, at least.  I know when it's kicking up and i know it's temporary.   Still doing physical therapy, walking, stretching, losing weight VERY slowly.  Not so easy to lose it at my age.  But i have an appointment in September to discuss hormone replacement and i think that may help me out with body aches and lethargy. Mr. Cigar is as busy as ever, yet always manages to make me feel important in his life.  It's been only 3 months and that shocks me a little bit.  Feels like it's been so much longer.  The pace is perfect, and it's nice to not have to make power moves with him.   I need to see my kids.  I think about them daily and know they have busy lives.  But i feel disconnected sometimes.  Same with some of my friends.  It's really hard for me to reach out.  To anyone. And i've also been enjoying my "do absolutely nothing" time. ...
Post a Comment
Keep reading »