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Life isn't fair, is it.

A few thoughts:

When a couple is in a long term relationship, and one never gets to know the others friends- it's no loss to them when there is a break up.  HOWEVER, when the OTHER makes friends with most of the others friends- they are likely to remain friends with some, if not most.  Only a few fake ass people will jump ship completely and immediately.  No loss there.  No surprise either.

I find it fucked up that my ex would actually believe he was going to neatly cut me out of his life AND "his" friends lives.......and seemed really hurt that it didn't happen that way.  Not everyone considered me disposable, and i'm really not sorry if that wasn't something he worked out in his head ahead of time.  Surprise!

I found myself feeling sorry for her when i was shown a picture of their baby shower.  She looks so normal.  He looked utterly stoned.  He must be sooooo happy.  He's gotten everything he ever wanted.  Yes, that is sarcasm.  On the other hand, this IS the woman who supposedly has her shit together so maybe he is only in the short term plan.  I hear it's cheaper than insemination.

Am i feeling vicious? Nope.  I'm feeling like i tried to play nice in a situation where i should have been really angry and self righteous.  I had every right to be.  It's only lately that i've felt happy about the fact that IT WASN'T ME....THANK THE GODS.

I even set myself up sometimes to feel sad and I can't even shed a tear for that situation any more.  All i have is a sense of ......having escaped.  I've had my lows, i've had my fits of anger but I have not felt nearly as close to the bad i felt while i was with him.  I no longer second guess myself, or feel bad about myself because of some guy.  Fuck em.  I have good friends and family and I don't need much else.

A nice guy would be icing on my cake.  I love dessert. :)  But i sure don't need it.

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