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Take a compliment already

What is wrong about having someone be excited about me?

What is wrong with having a man tell me how much better I look in person, tell me how beautiful he thinks I am?

What is wrong with having someone be enthusiastic about calling me, texting me, wanting to reach out to me?  Make me laugh, take so much pleasure in making me smile?  Wanting to spoil me in ways i've NEVER been spoiled?

Why do i automatically discount any compliment as bullshit.  Any interest as faked and manipulating.........why can't i just enjoy the moment and accept good will when it comes my way? Why can't i trust anything that comes out of a mans mouth?  When did i become so jaded and unable to accept compliments? affection?

Well, this shit has to stop.

I'm going to try something new.  I've been doing that lately, trying to quiet the voice in my head that whispers "you don't deserve love"..."you aren't good enough"......."something is wrong with anyone who loves you"........

Fuck that voice.

I'm going to enjoy this moment for however long it lasts, for whatever direction it takes.  I won't project, i won't invest too soon and i will not lose my common sense.  I will TAKE IT SLOW and learn how normal people do love.

And see what happens.


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