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True colors

That guy that i was so proud of myself for inviting to a party never showed up.  AND it appears that i've been blocked on his facebook.

Here's what i've learned:

  •  Listen to my best friend when she tells me a guy is an asshole
  •  Continue to ask men out if i feel like it.  Why not? I'm a grown up and I've now learned      what it feels like to be stood up. That's never happened to me before.  Usually i don't pick          such rude men.  Some may be jerks, but never pussies.  It's not devastating.  It's a quick way to  learn that someone is messed up.  Saves time. 
  • Also, make myself absolutely clear if i'm asking someone out because i want to start dating them, or if it's just to have a drink because i enjoy their brain.  I guess i wasn't clear about that.  It was the company i was looking for.  See I thought there was a possibility of my ex showing up.  I think that any time I'm going somewhere "our" friends are because eventually it's bound to happen. It will be awkward so i wanted someone who wouldn't know or care about him to be with me and keep me company for courage.  Perhaps i should have stated that as well.  Or picked a better male friend.




Had I been interested in him at one time? yes.  But i also thought he was still hung up on someone and not looking for a romantic relationship.  So ...........while i liked him, i did not consider him relationship material. Not now, possibly not ever. I liked him enough as a person to keep contact with. He's the one that kept saying we should meet up for drinks.

Had he asked, i could have told him I have recently met someone that I WOULD actually consider for a relationship. Now.  So much so that i would not want him to go with me to a party where my ex may appear.  That's not a cool way to begin getting to know each other as potential partners.  I just don't think he would have appreciated it. (see "take a compliment already" post)

Do these guys think that every woman who shows any interest is putting all her eggs in one basket without ANY reason to?  Maybe i'm the fucked up one, but i'm not trying to get tied down in a relationship with anyone i haven't taken the time to get to know, really well. I love that my therapist pointed out to me that i lose all my good sense as soon as i am emotionally involved.  I'm not looking to lose my good senses to any unworthy male, OR worthy male - ever again.

I understand the words "i'm not interested in continuing contact"  or "This is just not going to work out".......but when a guy says we are friends, i think he may be interested in my brain and company as well.  Anyone who takes the time to get to know me will find out fast that i don't mince words.  I don't tell lies, and i don't mislead.  Although apparently in this case i did.  Or he did.  or.....something.
 
I'm learning its true that taking time helps weed out the flakes from the men.  I just saw it in action.



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