Every time i start to wish someone ill will I caution myself that what I send out into the world comes back to me threefold......
It's pretty easy to hate people. Sometimes its almost impossible not to feel ill even thinking about some......... but it's all in how you look at it. What is it that is making you dislike ( or stronger, hate) that person?
Once i identify what it is, it's only a matter of changing my thinking. Actively, with purpose - changing my mind and my thoughts regarding that person.
It doesn't mean i all of a sudden love them, or like them, or want to even be around them. It just means that I don't have to hold any space in my head, or heart for them anymore. My feelings aren't something that applies to them in any way, any more.
I recently saw a picture of my ex with his baby mama. My first response to said picture was "ewwwwww" and then "grrrrrrrr" and then........."man do i feel sorry for her".
I've changed. Drastically. This past year has seen me have serious growing pains and that is exactly what i did. I grew. Everything turned out for the better even though it hurt at first. As my daughter so eloquently put it, I escaped the burning car right before it exploded.
He hasn't changed.
He wouldn't for me, he won't for her. His situation is different, he is not. I can see it in his body language. As soon as this chick began to need and want him.....he was done. He may stay because of their shared interest, but he will never be a faithful man. Men don't change that much even if they TRY. He will continue to have online relationships, text messaging with other women, hiding pictures of them........stopping by their places of work and or homes........Cheaters are cheaters. Having a baby doesn't change a mans character or the thrill of getting away with something.
So my initial reaction was of an ex girlfriend seeing a picture of her ex and the woman he cheated with........but then i chose to see the truth. I see a woman who believes the man who cheated WITH her will be faithful to her. I see a man who doesn't understand the value of loyalty. I see the perfect couple. And that, makes me happy.
So the next time you start to feel icky over some asshole, flip that switch. Be grateful YOU aren't them. Be happy.
It's pretty easy to hate people. Sometimes its almost impossible not to feel ill even thinking about some......... but it's all in how you look at it. What is it that is making you dislike ( or stronger, hate) that person?
Once i identify what it is, it's only a matter of changing my thinking. Actively, with purpose - changing my mind and my thoughts regarding that person.
It doesn't mean i all of a sudden love them, or like them, or want to even be around them. It just means that I don't have to hold any space in my head, or heart for them anymore. My feelings aren't something that applies to them in any way, any more.
I recently saw a picture of my ex with his baby mama. My first response to said picture was "ewwwwww" and then "grrrrrrrr" and then........."man do i feel sorry for her".
I've changed. Drastically. This past year has seen me have serious growing pains and that is exactly what i did. I grew. Everything turned out for the better even though it hurt at first. As my daughter so eloquently put it, I escaped the burning car right before it exploded.
He hasn't changed.
He wouldn't for me, he won't for her. His situation is different, he is not. I can see it in his body language. As soon as this chick began to need and want him.....he was done. He may stay because of their shared interest, but he will never be a faithful man. Men don't change that much even if they TRY. He will continue to have online relationships, text messaging with other women, hiding pictures of them........stopping by their places of work and or homes........Cheaters are cheaters. Having a baby doesn't change a mans character or the thrill of getting away with something.
So my initial reaction was of an ex girlfriend seeing a picture of her ex and the woman he cheated with........but then i chose to see the truth. I see a woman who believes the man who cheated WITH her will be faithful to her. I see a man who doesn't understand the value of loyalty. I see the perfect couple. And that, makes me happy.
So the next time you start to feel icky over some asshole, flip that switch. Be grateful YOU aren't them. Be happy.
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