Been on a dating site the past few weeks, curious to see what is out there when i decide it's time again. Men can be really......boring. And crude. And predictable. At least on these sites - i'm not saying "all men". I rather like men. Mostly.
The interesting ones actually read my profile and start a conversation mentioning things we have in common, etc. They also have more than one picture that shows a glimpse of their lives. At least one picture has to have a smile. I take these guys more seriously and don't just "delete", and let me tell you- i delete a hell of a lot more than respond. One sentence, that is not perfectly constructed and succinctly targeting my interests does NOT qualify for a response.
"hey"
"you're beautiful"
"what's up"
"how are you"
"hi"
"Your hair is great"
"your eyes are pretty"
"whats your name"
"love your smile"
Etc. etc. etc. yawn.
Is it hard? No, i don't think so actually. It's not a bar, or public place where you have to think of something on the spot. You have time to compose something witty, interesting, telling me something that makes me want to know more......I am not wasting time on any men that can't be bothered to talk to me DURING THE FIRST ENCOUNTER. Fucking had enough of that shit to last a lifetime. That blank look with no response when you ask a direct question......fuck off. I know your type and i've outgrown being treated like shit. Put an ounce of effort into your introduction. It's a clear indicator on if you are "fishing" or looking for a relationship. I'm not doing your work for you.
If a conversation lulls, i let it. Fuck keeping it up. Let him do it. If they are interested they will continue to pursue. I hold up my end and that's as much as i'll do. The first and last man i ever chased spent the entire relationship running and then he dumped me after 13 years. So, no, i won't be chasing anyone again. You want me? Come get me. Meantime, i won't be waiting for you. I'll be talking to the guys who put some effort into knowing me because they think i'm worth it. OR i'll be reading a book. Or going out with friends. Or researching a new topic. Or destroying some pinterest project. ANYTHING but chasing. Even getting colonic hydrotherapy.
I have been asked out, of course. That is the point to this site. I've declined due to the way i was asked, or the quickness of it - but this morning i was asked by someone who i think i'd like to spend time with. So i'm going and i'm looking forward to it. See what happens. He hasn't once said anything off color, or remotely sexual. (class) Flirtation? yes. My ONLY hope is that i'll hope he kisses me. And that that will be enough, for now.
I know i'm going to have to date a few mistakes before i find someone compatible. Maybe i'll get lucky and i won't have to. :) A girl can hope. A woman knows better. Sigh.
I haven't ever dated any grown up men with their shit together who want to spend time with me. I've been out of the loop for decades. I have a really good understanding of myself, what i need and what I will not compromise on. I'd love to look better, younger, thinner, prettier......but you know what? I'd rather have someone meet me as I am right now and fall in love with who I am and not how i look. Because assholes tell women that they are going to leave them if they ever hit 200 lbs.......and they don't take into consideration that they have lost most their hair, AND their rippled abs, AND there tight little roofer butt...so maybe they should take a look in the mirror before they go saying misogynistic shit like that to the woman they "love".....kidding, kidding.......just as much as he was.
Admittedly a disjointed blog that maybe i'll not even understand later. But....it is what it is.
The interesting ones actually read my profile and start a conversation mentioning things we have in common, etc. They also have more than one picture that shows a glimpse of their lives. At least one picture has to have a smile. I take these guys more seriously and don't just "delete", and let me tell you- i delete a hell of a lot more than respond. One sentence, that is not perfectly constructed and succinctly targeting my interests does NOT qualify for a response.
"hey"
"you're beautiful"
"what's up"
"how are you"
"hi"
"Your hair is great"
"your eyes are pretty"
"whats your name"
"love your smile"
Etc. etc. etc. yawn.
Is it hard? No, i don't think so actually. It's not a bar, or public place where you have to think of something on the spot. You have time to compose something witty, interesting, telling me something that makes me want to know more......I am not wasting time on any men that can't be bothered to talk to me DURING THE FIRST ENCOUNTER. Fucking had enough of that shit to last a lifetime. That blank look with no response when you ask a direct question......fuck off. I know your type and i've outgrown being treated like shit. Put an ounce of effort into your introduction. It's a clear indicator on if you are "fishing" or looking for a relationship. I'm not doing your work for you.
If a conversation lulls, i let it. Fuck keeping it up. Let him do it. If they are interested they will continue to pursue. I hold up my end and that's as much as i'll do. The first and last man i ever chased spent the entire relationship running and then he dumped me after 13 years. So, no, i won't be chasing anyone again. You want me? Come get me. Meantime, i won't be waiting for you. I'll be talking to the guys who put some effort into knowing me because they think i'm worth it. OR i'll be reading a book. Or going out with friends. Or researching a new topic. Or destroying some pinterest project. ANYTHING but chasing. Even getting colonic hydrotherapy.
I have been asked out, of course. That is the point to this site. I've declined due to the way i was asked, or the quickness of it - but this morning i was asked by someone who i think i'd like to spend time with. So i'm going and i'm looking forward to it. See what happens. He hasn't once said anything off color, or remotely sexual. (class) Flirtation? yes. My ONLY hope is that i'll hope he kisses me. And that that will be enough, for now.
I know i'm going to have to date a few mistakes before i find someone compatible. Maybe i'll get lucky and i won't have to. :) A girl can hope. A woman knows better. Sigh.
I haven't ever dated any grown up men with their shit together who want to spend time with me. I've been out of the loop for decades. I have a really good understanding of myself, what i need and what I will not compromise on. I'd love to look better, younger, thinner, prettier......but you know what? I'd rather have someone meet me as I am right now and fall in love with who I am and not how i look. Because assholes tell women that they are going to leave them if they ever hit 200 lbs.......and they don't take into consideration that they have lost most their hair, AND their rippled abs, AND there tight little roofer butt...so maybe they should take a look in the mirror before they go saying misogynistic shit like that to the woman they "love".....kidding, kidding.......just as much as he was.
Admittedly a disjointed blog that maybe i'll not even understand later. But....it is what it is.
Comments
Post a Comment