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Should of


 I wish i could remember every single moment of the last time.

I know it was incredibly satisfying and fun.

And now........I'm done.  I quit. Finit.  

Sex is not worth all the bullshit that comes with it........meaning the man. 

They think because they have good dick they can act any way they want.

Well.  I have my own skill set, and it's no longer available to flaky males. 

B.O.B never left me hanging, never treated me like an option, and never made me feel like I'm not worthy of its attention.  

So, I'll be investing in batteries and moving on with my stress-free, happy existence with people who love me and men?........men can go play their games with someone who enjoys that.   Have fun with that.  Loyalty is rare, and it needs to be valued.



Woke up this morning looking for some kind of response, some sign of life from him.  I have to acknowledge not only is he not interested, he's disrespectful and common.  He isn't bringing me peace or adding to my life in any positive way with this disappearing act.  All this thinking about someone who doesn't give a second thought to me has brought me to this conclusion:

And I'll take it even further......Celibate.  I've run the gambit, tried every different lifestyle trying to find my peace, my joy......and sex has been the source of all my bad choices.  Every. Single. One.  I'm after the pleasure, the rush, the intimacy........was, after.

I have memories of curling up against a mans back to go to sleep and feeling like that was my safe place, that was all I ever needed.  And that's been gone for a long time.  So it's time for a major change in how I move.  All this being genuine, real, open, being MYSELF........fuck all that nonsense.

Will I be strong?  Will he call or reach out again?  Yeah, he will.  They all do.  Because what I have is good.  But it's for someone who values me. Like, myself.   



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