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Not as easy as it once once

 Yesterday I took a class online that lasted all day.  While it went by fast, I enjoyed the topic, I was utterly exhausted by the end.  Zombie like.  My brain was full of new information trying to find a space to land and not be forgotten.

Back in the day, you sat in a lecture and took notes by hand.  Maybe you recorded the class on a tape recorder. (I did, and listened to it again and again driving in the car trying to imbed the information at least until the next test)  But now, you can take classes online that are recorded automatically and you can view them usually for a pretty long period of time.

I took a few notes by hand...can't teach an old dog new tricks.  But also I have a mistrust of technology ability to malfunction and an absolute trust of my ability to write down anything I find important to remember.

I'm on my way.  Work won't pay for the next 2 classes unless I go crying to my boss.  I feel like the hoops we had to jump through already were difficult enough and it might just be worth me paying for it myself.  While it directly affects my abilities and knowledge in this position, it also sets me up for retirement income........I'm not chancing it.

It's official.  I am a nerd.  I loved the class and can't wait to know it all inside out and around.  I will look back and say "I was 56 when I started this new endeavor and look at me now". 


Bike guy is still reaching out and this morning asked me if I was alright?  I'm absolutely all right.  Lets put it this way.  It's Thursday morning and he has not asked to see me this weekend yet.  (I already have plans because I don't wait to the last minute to arrange to see people I want to see)  IF he was truly interested, he would have made sure to make plans with me before now.

He doesn't have his shit together, and he thinks I don't know the game of putting people on hold as a back up.  I started to feel bad, like I should just send the text that cuts him loose from the game, but fuck that.  These guys aren't concerned about our feelings so why should I have any sympathy for him?  You want to hang around?  hang around.  I'm giving back the same energy you send my way.  Flaky and lukewarm.

Where is my man?  The one?  Perhaps not in this lifetime.  

From Meditations (Marcus Aurelius) Book 7 #43-  No chorus of lamentation, no hysterics.

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