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Rinse, Repeat

 I tried to find a previous blog I had written so I could copy/paste but............

Another flake.

Not gonna rip him apart, I'll just say that he also shouldn't be dating at this point in his life until he gets his act together.  He can't make solid plans, he has excuses by the mile, and I don't care enough.  I'll leave it at that.  He continues to breadcrumb me with good morning and good night, with a bunch of plans that will not come to any fruition thrown in between.  This record has been worn out.

Much easier to have no hurt feelings when I haven't slept with him.  No physical imaginary bond.  

It's still disheartening, though, my own lack of enthusiasm or interest.

Men either hit me like a semi-truck or they illicit zero emotion from me at all.  Neither response is desired.

It's okay though, because winter is coming and the darkness comes with it.  I go to work, go home, go to work, go home.  Hibernation season is nearly upon us.  Thank the Gods.

I did think it would be nice to share the down time with someone I have fun with, but, it's just not in the cards.  I'm thinking "no" is the answer from now on when I get asked out.  Why bother repeating this same scenario over and over again?  I'm too alert to bullshit, have no patience with games / drama, and while I'm not perfect, these men are just.........lacking.  

I spent all those years being down on myself because I thought I was too much this, or not enough that, and the reality is, these guys that I come into contact with are just not up to MY standards.  They think money, or having things is all they need.  I don't need your things, don't want your money so....how about a sense of humor?  How about a generous soul?  How about taking care of yourself and where you live because you worked for it, and because you have some pride?  No one is coming to fix you.  You have to do it yourself.

Just don't fix yourself so much that no-one can get in.

oops. 

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