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Would do it again

 This weekend.  Wooo.  

Friday night i drove to Milford to spend the weekend with my couple.  I went a day early to help set up, prepare food, help with all the things.  We had a few drinks, dinner, and then she and I crafted out little hearts out while he avoided our constant demands to get scissors or go get us icecream because we may have been a little bit high.

So instead we cut a center piece out of the apple cake and then pushed the two sides together and refrosted.......voila!  munchy snack for high girls and a still perfect cake.   She is brilliant.  

I love this group of people- mixed bag of nuts.  We met during covid online, used to have a much bigger group, people came and went, but we....we are the core. People I never would have met without the damned internet.  

So Saturday night we all 7 came together (missing one who was excused lol) and ate drank and made merry.  Very very merry.

Sunday morning I said my goodbyes and headed out on auto pilot.  Got all the was to Scarsdale new york before I realized I was going the wrong way.  It made for a very very long ride home.  But......no plans, so no big deal.  I really do need to pay better attention to directions.

After over 3 hours in the car, I decided to get fast food which I rarely do anymore.  As I'm sitting in the drive-through waiting my turn I hear a loud screech and then a man yelling obscenities.  I look to the side of me and see a woman with kids pulling her car into a spot and a man in a car blocking her in.  He was screaming and threatening and generally losing his mind.  She was smart and did not get out of the car.

Me, on the other hand........after looking around to see if someone is going to do something and seeing no one intervene ........I get out of my car and call over to him to leave her alone.  Just get in your car and leave.  You have lost your temper and you need to cool off.  Something to that effect, trying to de-escalate the situation.  He, then loses his shit on me.  Colorful directions.  I'm not the one.

So I tried again.  You leave or I call the cops.  He preferred the cops.  So I called and then he helpfully screamed his license plate number across the parking lot for me because he was an idiot and didn't leave when he was told to.  He stays until police pull in (Yay Newington because you guys got there lickety split) and THEN decides to leave.

I told you, Idiot.

Now there's a chase and he is cornered in the Home Depot lot.  By now, I've driven around and parked next to her.  Then a couple of officers come to talk to us.  Mind, you, I'm in sweats that need to be washed, no bra, no shower, and I've been in the car all damn morning........and I have to pee.

Of course they are both gorgeous.  W.T.F.  Ends up this guy has warrants on him in other towns so he's going to take a little ride.

What. a. shame.

Maybe I should have minded my business but I was by myself and I saw a woman with kids in the car and some crazy man blocking her in.  I could have just called the police, minded my business, and went on my way.  Honestly, I didn't think they would get there that fast.  Next, giving someone a chance to make a better choice is my way.  He chose wrong.  Some people just cannot stop themselves from taking their crap out on total strangers.

I remember a few years ago a man in traffic was losing his shit behind me, yelling, waving his arms....i knew I did nothing to ask for it because traffic was creeping.  Eventually we come to a red light and he is now next to me.  He's now giving me filthy looks so I rolled my window down and said "are you having a bad day?" not yelling, just asking, and I'll never forget the way his face changed.  Its like he re-adjusted and then he said, kinda like he was embarrassed, "yeah, I really am"....I said, "Tomorrow is another day man"  and he actually smiled!  I was shocked.  But I'll never forget it.

Do I go around trying to calm down pissed off men?  Hell no.  But when I see someone being harrassed, especially a woman with kids, especially by an irate male, I'm not standing by quiet.

Fuck that.

I wish we weren't so afraid.  And my adrenalin did kick in after the police came and I was out of protect mode.  I do realize it could have gotten worse.  But this is just a little no big deal incident in comparison to what goes on and people are too afraid to intervene.  For good reason.  

But imagine if on your worst day, you have had it, and you hate the world, if a stranger just saw you, and acknowledged that sometimes life sucks.  But it can get better.  What if someone sympathized.  Or empathized.  Just for a few seconds.  

What if more people felt seen and not so out of control.  What if people felt like we are in it together and not alone?  What if people made choices for the good of all and not just for personal benefit?  

I'm not stupid, not looking for trouble.  I'm scared of angry men.  But the day I back down to one is not coming soon.  And maybe I'll regret it, or maybe it's worth it in the big picture.  Because we ARE in this together.  And we need to make room for improvement.

Okay- that's my soapbox edition.  Have a safe day.  Make sure others do too.  


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