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web pages and van life

 Today i begin developing my from scratch webpage as a sort of tester for what I will be developing / improving on, at work.

I'm very excited.

It's one thing to learn about it and do it in bits and pieces off of someone else's jump point........but this one is all mine to develop and learn from.  I honestly never thought i'd be learning new tricks this late in the game but I'm good at it and it makes perfect sense to me.  The creative part will give me a run for my money but I'm sure I can manage.  And excel.  

How many stories have I heard about people finding their niche in late life?  Maybe this is mine.  What I know for sure is that this skill will give me a lot of freedom and that is exactly what I'm looking forward to.  

Been watching a lot of vanlife streams and I can see where it is a lot of work depending on how you live.  I want to be incognito, not obvious, so I CAN park on a city street for the night if I want/need to.  One thing I need to dig deeper into is gun laws in each state. I continue to research and list the pro's and con's of nomad life.  I don't like the idea of peeing in my vehicle but there are lots of ways to keep it sanitary and convenient.  There's a lot of re-thinking that needs to take place.

I had a professor in college for my Anthropology course who taught us to view the world with no preconceptions of how it "should" be.  To have a clean palate when visiting other countries, and to have no judgement.  To view the lives of others through their eyes.  That is what an anthropologist is supposed to do apparently, but I've taken it to heart when being in situations I'm not familiar with.  Stand back and observe, take it in, and do not interject your views of how it should be unless it is asked of you.

Being an introvert, observing is my preference.  And then I jump in where I see I can assist.  I really don't think living alone in a van will be any more lonley than living in my apartment.  The biggest difference is that I can turn the van on and drive wherever I want to go, whenever I want to go.  

And no motels/hotels.  Unless I need repairs.  I will always have my "things", won't have to pack, will always feel at home no matter where I am. This isn't about anyone else.  It's about me.

This weekend I got razzed by my friends in the same tune as my bestie.  Seems everyone thinks I dump men too quickly, that I actively search out a reason to not like every guy I date.  

perhaps.  OR maybe men just fly their big red flags nice and high so I can't miss them?  I've done enough dating to know there are categories that each person falls into, and I seem to always find the flakey ones.  My bestie said Mr. Tattoo showed his red flags and I bulldozed ahead and ignored them.  What does that say?  There was something about him that allowed me to accept that he has issues.  For all the good that did either one of us.

I'm giving this most recent guy a chance because maybe it is me being too picky.  HOWEVER, if I start having anxiety over having to see him, I am DONE.  They say butterflies are a bad sign, that your body is having a trauma response.  I don't feel any butterflies so............

Regardless, I come first.  I don't care if it's selfish.  My whole life has been lived for other people and I am going to do exactly what I want.  Come along or shut up.  Thinking about Mr. Tattoo does me literally no good and I'm quite sure he has moved on to other entertainment and doesn't give me a second thought.  

Back to me, me, me, MEEEE.  

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