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Noooooooo

 I knew the heat was on this weekend because I was sweltering in my heat controlled apartment.  I shouldn't complain, because I'm never cold when I'm home........it's like a tropical island.  But the heat on inside means it's cold outside.  I'm not ready.

This morning I wore a coat into work.  There was frost, real frost that needed to DEfrost on my windshield and my car kept warning me about black ice on the road.

NOOOOOOO.

Granted, I spent that last two days inside hiding from the world trying to combat that dark spell I can feel creeping up on me.  On Saturday, I was sweating my ass off helping my friends move.  The world apparently got colder while I was recuperating.

It hasn't started and I'm over it.  Winter.  The good part is I am able to work remotely on snowy days now which I truly appreciate.  Having that ability will keep my anxiety over snow to a minimum and it will facilitate my need to hibernate during the upcoming holidays.

This time of year is not good for me.  While Fall is my favorite, Winter comes too fast behind it.  I'm prepared with lists of books to read, a stack ready to go, crafting projects and a desire to clean out my huge closet and get rid of a lot of "stuff"".  I'll be working on simplifying and downsizing.  Less stuff.  

Thats where I'm at.  I've been politely chatting with several men from my FB group.......all live over 2 hours away if not more.  What is the point?  I want to tell them they think I'm something I'm not. 

My self esteem is going into the shitter.

God I hate this time of year.

Let it go fast. 


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