Skip to main content

Tonights the night

 I'm going to be interviewed by the Elks tonight, yahoo! They are serving my favorite, broccoli rabe and sausage, at their Thursday night dinner, so I'm going early for that first. Perhaps I'll have a drink; my last at "public" price.

This morning I tortured myself at the dentist with a periodontal cleaning and was told it's time to see a specialist.  a Periodontist.  Greeeeaaatttt.  I'm considering losing my teeth instead.  I am TERRIFIED of the dentist and take Ativan before I go for an appointment to keep me from crawling out of the chair.  This is probably not going to go well.  And lets talk about paying for it too.  Insult to injury is referring to the area of dentistry.  Don't get me wrong, I love my hygenist and I like my dentist okay.......both are very tolerant of my fears and placate me. As they should for the amount of money I spend there....

Yesterday was nice talk with Connecticut man.  He smokes cigarettes and drinks daily. That was the only part of our conversation that gave me pause.  I'm quite sure I talked too much.  Whatever.  I'll hear from him again or I won't.  

I'm thinking if I lose my teeth it will definitely set the stage for being single for the rest of my life.  I'm trying to determine whether that is a positive or negative thought. More to come.

This is something I saw this morning when I was scrolling and it fits my relationship with my ex FWB who is now a close friend.  And once you are my friend, there's no hankies pankies.  Anyway, I believe you can love someone of the opposite sex deeply and have them not be romantic, or even a huge part of your life.  This hit me as "us". 




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I love ChatGPT

 I am extremely transparent with my emotions because i do not have the ability to NOT be.  My only option when i'm having any feelings is to talk in a very low, slow, monotone voice and keep my face as blank as i possibly can. Unless they mean something to me. Unless i care about them and how they treat me.  So while i'm perfectly okay with never seeing or hearing from Mr. Cigar again, in light of his true self unveiling, I am overthinking my expression of emotions to him.   I took this little conversation and put it into ChatGPT with no questions or directions and this is what i got back: This exchange captures a painful and emotionally charged moment. Your initial message was heartfelt, vulnerable, and expressed a genuine desire for connection and acknowledgment. His response, while polite on the surface, carried a sharp undercurrent of blame and finality—deflecting accountability and subtly rewriting the narrative as your fault. Ending it with “safe travels ...

Same stuff

 Nothing new to report.   I've been managing my anxiety, trying to, at least.  I know when it's kicking up and i know it's temporary.   Still doing physical therapy, walking, stretching, losing weight VERY slowly.  Not so easy to lose it at my age.  But i have an appointment in September to discuss hormone replacement and i think that may help me out with body aches and lethargy. Mr. Cigar is as busy as ever, yet always manages to make me feel important in his life.  It's been only 3 months and that shocks me a little bit.  Feels like it's been so much longer.  The pace is perfect, and it's nice to not have to make power moves with him.   I need to see my kids.  I think about them daily and know they have busy lives.  But i feel disconnected sometimes.  Same with some of my friends.  It's really hard for me to reach out.  To anyone. And i've also been enjoying my "do absolutely nothing" time. ...

Sunday funday

 I stayed in bed until 8am.  Yes, i was scrolling my phone, but still........i was in bed.  Also, i made coffee and brought it BACK to bed.....so yes, technically, i remained in bed until 8am. I have a hard time staying up past 9pm.  And then i can't sleep past 6:30 at the latest.  When did that happen? Yesterday, i was ready for bed by 7pm at the birthday party.   I got to hold, okay, i TOOK the 6 day old premie babie and cradled his little body for a longggg time.  I layed him in my lap so i could see him, and he could strettttttttch his tiny body.  This little boy, normally, would still be baking in the womb.......but here he is, tiny and mighty, in my lap.  His tiny hands, his tiny FEET.  OMG.  New mamma was happy to be with her family and socialize, but new daddy, stayed close.  He talked about all the things CJ does already.......sleep, eat, poop.   He is a very nice young man, very in tune with his sons wh...