committed

 I have done a good job of forcing myself to write almost daily.  I'm writing into thin air, but the point is......I'm doing it.

I'm exercising my freedom and brain, documenting random thoughts, experiences and concerns.

Because I can.  I hope I still can years from now.

The election is less than a week away and I've been trying to avoid listening to the news.  It's the same shit every day and tells me nothing I need to know.

I'm voting early on Friday to avoid the mess on Tuesday, plus I get sworn in to the Elks that night.  Kind of cool since the order is so patriotic.  

Here is what I'm chewing on at the moment.  I have always been an independent voter not wanting to commit to either party and to be more concerned with the people running.  I was forced into selecting a party when I was joining a public board years ago.  I chose Democrats because they aligned more closely with my belief in helping people who cannot help themselves.  

I go back and forth, believing everyone should vote because people have died so we have that privilege and thinking my one vote doesn't matter so why bother?  

This time I'm confused at the last minute because I feel like I've been influenced by the media and I remember the days when news used to be unbiased.  It no longer is.  It is entertainment and control.  We are fed what they want us to eat.  But who is they?

I wouldn't have voted for Biden.  I wouldn't have voted for Trump.  When Harris stepped in to the democrats role I thought I could stand behind her.  And maybe I will?  I think I'm one of many Americans that wants to do what is best for this country and has literally no idea who either candidate really is.

I have always been disgusted by Trump for all the reasons seen in the media that I don't need to repeat. The media forces it down our throats lest we ever forget.  I can't stand him as a person.  He is vile.  I am concerned that our children cannot quote him word for word without getting into trouble.  I'm concerned about a LOT where he is concerned.  Womens rights, which shouldn't even be a question at this point are at the top of my list.

He wants the states to decide.  But this is ONE country and the abortion issue affects women specifically.  

There is supposed to be a division of church and state and yet.......we all know there isn't one.  Imagine if churches were made to pay taxes?  If they have a voice in politics, which they do, they need to pay up.  Immigration is close to my heart and I know there is so much that I don't know.  I do not have the answers.  All I know is that everybody deserves the right to food, shelter, medical care and the chance to do better, no matter where they were born.  

I think the rich are the problem because they control everything.  That is starting to implode but not fast enough.  Trump is one of the rich. supposedly.  He didn't get paid for being president.  Big deal.  He didn't pay FOR anything either.  The rest of us are worried about the price of eggs.  He has a gold toilet.  Think about that.

Okay- Harris has been in office and hasn't done anything.  She is a great talker and knows exactly what NOT to say.  But constantly reminding us what a jerk Trump is does not tell me who SHE is.

I feel manipulated.  I feel like a child.  I feel like it's all bullshit is another way of saying "I don't feel like I matter".

My grandfather has been on my mind.  He was a World War II vet.  He was deeply interested in politics.  I watched Watergate with him in the "Florida room" as a small child.  I learned more in that room on that television with my grandfather commenting than I have anywhere else.  He hated Nixon.  However, he also hated Kennedy and that wasn't a popular opinion.   And my grandfather was 100% Irish straight off the boat.  He was an avid reader of anything having to do with World War I and II - the politics of it.  I thought his book collection was horribly boring.  I wish I could talk to him now about this election.  

His voice has been in my head this week.  I watched Joe Rogans podcast on Youtube where he interviewed Trump and I have to say, it has made me question everything I have thought previously.  Has the media spun him to be a villain?  He seemed sane, a business man not a politician.  I don't agree with everything but other things make so much sense.  WTF am I actually considering TRUMP?

I don't want to be led by the nose, incited by drama - and lets be honest, a lot of his supporters are downright redneck scary. 

If you had asked me who I will vote for last month I would have told you Harris.  Today, at this moment, I do not know.  But Fridy- I will have to make a choice.