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one more first date

 Went on a first date Saturday with L.  He decided to come to me rather than the original plan of me going to him (Old Saybrook I had every intention of taking a ride in my old hood) because I have a cold and he didn't want me to have to drive.

Chivalrous. Considerate.

We decided to meet at a place near me that has outdoor seating and is on the water.  I arrived first, early as usual, and got to pick the table.  He arrived on time.

Responsible.  Courteous.

I saw him arrive, with American flags waving off his motorcycle.

Patriotic, proud of it.

As he was walking up to the restaurant he texted me he was here.  I was watching him approach.  Now I know why men get there first.  I enjoyed watching him with him not knowing he was being watched.

Handsome, full head of hair, Not small, not large but bigger than me....

And then he arrived at my table.  I stood up, gave him a big hug that felt nice and he sat down, took off his sunglasses and I saw he has very pretty eyes.  This is important to me.  If I can't look him in the eye and find him attractive it won't work.

The conversation was as it has been...easy, sometimes light and sometimes deep.  We can talk politics without getting crazy - also important to me.  Its so unattractive when people announce "if you are this or if you are that keep scrolling" although it does call out red flags and do us all a favor.

I offered to go dutch, he said he had this, and he paid.  

Also important to me.  In a relationship I do not expect to have him pay for everything however in the beginning I am old fashioned and feel some kind of way when a man allows me to pay into a first date.  Can't help it.  I'm not looking for a free meal, or using them, it's more a traditional feeling for me.  It also shows he has a sense of self and doesn't feel bitter about taking the role of a man.  (In my view)

This is probably not a popular opinion, but it is MY feeling- I cannot have romantic feelings for a man who goes dutch with me on the first date- that is an instant friend zone situation.  I don't know why.  It just is.  Perhaps its because I don't feel taken care of which translates into "safe".  Its not about being entitled, I always make sure i have enough to cover the whole bill if needed, because i am already taking care of myself.  If I'm going to date a man I want to know we will take care of each other.  Rambling.

We decide to go sit by the water for a while and continue the date.  We talk easily, have comfortable silence, laugh, and then it's time to end the date because he has a reunion to go to.  He said he would rather skip the reunion and stay with me, which i thought was nice ...but obviously he should go.  He wanted to show me his bike and when we got to it he gave me a nice, natural kiss.  Then the kiss got a little hot and i started laughing because........parking lot.  He knows how to hold a woman.  I'll say that.

Time to go!  I have zero intention of sleeping with this man right away.  The last time i did that i had my ass handed to me.  It won't happen again.  I like him.  He's handsome, pleasant, not boring, not a want to be badass........seems like a good man.  Time will tell.  

Last night we discovered that our birthdays are 2 days apart making us both Capricorns. We both agreed that explains a lot regarding our easy flow and common interests that aren't so common.  

So lets see what happens.  I'm in no rush, wasn't looking per usual and he landed in my lap.  I see no red flags yet, but maybe he does! lol  


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