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I know i'm getting old when

I'm packing for vacation and i have to make sure i pick up my prescriptions from the pharmacy so i don't run out.  And i have to borrow a little cooler for injections that need to be kept cold.  And buy nexium because i know i can't live a day without it. 

I never used to even pack tylenol.  Now i have meds.  Something i never wanted.  I never and still don't even take vitamins.  I could never remember to take birth control.  I hate taking pills.

Unless i'm in pain.  THEN i remember.  

Just noting that this year I am packing 2 bikinis, and a full med pouch.  YEEHAH.  

Ask me if i care about opinions on either.  I do not.

Let that sun soak into my skin baby. Bring on the fancy alcoholic beverages (i could care less what they are) and let me just enjoy life for a week.  No phone.  No computer.  No caring about anything
 that isn't directly in front of me.

I'm so excited that Eddie is coming with us.  It will be like old times.  I think he may still be in the thick of the breakup, not feeling 100% yet.  Men handle things differently.  The two of us have always been very connected and not having him around felt very odd for a while. But he was so happy with her and that's all you want for your friends, is to see them happy. 

I miss his hugs. Eddie hugs are the best.  He's the kind of guy i could sleep next to, cuddle up on and not feel like he will attack me.  It's just very easy with us. But he is a man, so i could be wrong.  I usually am.

Kind of a mixed bag of nuts on this trip, which is why it will be a blast.  That, and i have zero agenda aside from going with the flow and relaxing.  And i will certainly be using my disposable vape to assist with this attitude.

LIfe is good. 

Oh, mr. sex talk reappeared this morning in my text messages. He has taken it down a notch.  We will see how long that lasts.  
Maybe i need to treat these men exactly how they deserve and that's how i weed out the good ones from the losers.  I fancied myself falling in love with a psycho, listening to all his garbage.  I think i should just call bullshit.  

I think about Mr. Tattoo.  My obsession with him.  I had to be because it was never a relationship.  I just know how i responded to him physically.  Couldn't keep my hands off him or stop looking at him.  So handsome.  So .......not mine.

I want that.  That pull.  That desire.  That intensity.  Only in both directions!  All mine.  






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