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Beard Guy

 Its truly a small world.

This afternoon i had a lunch date with Beard Guy.  BIG man, tall, barrel chested and big smiles.

I haven't seen a face light up like that in a while - when i walked in and he realized it was me.

That was nice.  He is nice.

I probably won't see him again.

Here's why:

He's a recovering alcoholic and drug addict.  Been clean over 30 years.  I've learned just not too.  Don't buy problems.  I've done my time with  addicts and alcoholics. 

He's older than  me and has some serious health issues.  I'm going through a rebirth, losing weight, being active and i'm working towards goals. I want to be able to walk trails again, go kayaking, camping, with the man i am with.  This man is going in a different direction and again, don't buy problems. Side note: there is a difference in not beginning to date someone with health issues and abandoning a spouse because of health issues.  THAT i would never do. 

He knows and is friends with a guy i dated a couple of years ago. They run in those 1% circles, even if they themselves are not.   Thats not my deal.  Again, not looking to buy any trouble.  Yes, i also have friends that are in mc clubs but i am friends with them because of who they are not because of their club.  For a while i would go to bar nights and my friends would literally cock block me, so why bother.  They know it's not the life for me.  Even if i love riding.  

I'd make a horrible old lady.  

Reminds me when my sweet friend Amie used to tell me the character Jemma on Sons of Anarchy reminded her of me.  That used to make me giggle. 

Back to Mr. Beard.  Again, such a nice guy, easy to talk to, great vibe........just, not for me.  Beautiful bike too, owns his home, has a job, a life.......but .....not for me.  

I think i'm going to just go on vacation and luxuriate in the company of my friends and not think about dating.  Feels like my spark is gone.  And thats not fair to anyone i go out with.  I actually care about not leading people on, using them, or wasting their time.......i don't do it.  And i sleep great at night. This last experience shook me, i was way off base on my assessment of his character.  I need a reset. 


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