If i ever hear "that's irrelevant" again.......this phrase will forever be attached to Mr. Cigar, who said it CONSTANTLY like a broken record.
What a disdainful angry little man. He enjoys standing on the pedestal he puts himself on because then he can see over everyone elses heads. For a change.
Welcome to the angry portion of my disillusionment. You knew it was coming, because i'm consistent if i'm nothing else.
Do you know HE did most of the talking in the time we were together? Told me every last detail of all his previous relationships and why he ended it with all of them. Except the one that lasted a whopping two weeks. She got under his skin because she beat him to it. And she had money. A lot of money, and THAT made her valuable to him. What he didn't like was that she acted like the boss bitch she must be, and didn't take any of his shit. poor, poor Mr. Cigar. The stories he told me so proudly of how he spoke to his ex, the one he fell in love at first sight with? He basically told her she was stupid. I know he told me she was stupid. repeatedly. He must have been a big old bag of fun to live with. His house, his rules, and she was just another toy. I'm sure of it.
Like picking on every single thing she did or said. Same as me. Looking back, not teasing. You have to pay attention to what a man says when he's #1 drunk #2 teasing #3 angry. They will tell you exactly how they feel about you. Whyyyy did i forget this?
Because i'm out of practice dealing with egotistical jerk offs. I've been pretty lucky and haven't dated one in a LONG time. I forgot the rules. If a man acts like an asshat, that man IS an asshat.
The sad part is that i confused my feelings of anxious attachment with falling in love. Those feelings were lying dormant and when i started reacting to him i thought it was love. Because he twirled me up and made me forget myself.
The man can kiss. I'll give him that.
He should use his mouth ONLY to kiss, and try shutting it otherwise. Mean doesn't begin to describe how he talks about people. The names he calls his exe's are truly horrible and cringy.........and childish.
You have to understand that HE is perfect. HE doesn't have body odor, ever. Apparently.
Who says that?
He called me Psycho and said he loved crazy women because they are the best in bed. As if. For someone who talked about sex so often.......yet constantly said it wasn't important to him.........i'm not the one who is psycho. And the best part is ..........I CAN have sex. Any. Time. I. want. Repeatedly and often, if i so chose. Because all my parts are in working condition.
Meow. Hiss.
Thats what you get when you treat me like i don't matter. When you feed me a bunch of shit and then don't take the consequences.
I have nothing truly bad to say about Mr. Tattoo. He treated me well, even though he didn't want me. He never went out of his way to be an asshole to me. But Mr. Cigar? He gets off on making women feel bad, or stupid. And he truly believes he is the best at everything, ever, anywhere.
Except maybe at keeping women happy. He's not so good at that. Is he.
Told me he didn't usually date women as big as me. Listen, it's not my fault he's never experienced the pleasure of a woman that is full sized, soft and silky smooth. Come to think of it, he probably wanted me to lose weight so his dick could get past my ass cheeks. Oops. did i say that?
Noone else i've ever been with has had that problem.
So i might be bigger than his taste, why date me? He would say he couldn't figure out why he was attracted to me....LMAO. I don't know whats worse, his not knowing that was an insult, or if he DID know it was an insult.
You just can't buy class.
I can't wait until tomorrow, when i know i won't give a flying fuck about him anymore. Talk about a rollercoaster ride - One minute thinking this man is the one, and the next seeing the mask ripped off his face.
Men take my demeanor and think i'm a pushover I think. Because i'm not a raving bitch, (until you deserve it) and i don't have any hard and fast "rules" about dating. Except for the no sex until we are exclusive rule. That one is carved in gold. He thought he was in like flynn........didn't seem to understand why i kept asking him if he was seeing anyone else and wanting a solid yes or no, which he could never seem to give me. Even right up to our last conversation his answer was "when would i have time?"......which says, if he DID have time he would be, or he absolutely was still seeing other women. It doesn't say he wasn't.
My ex used to say that to me when i'd get suspicious (obviously rightly so) so when Mr. Cigar said it.....well, he got dropped into the same box as the ex. Liar.
I'm hoping this will all be out of my system by tomorrow morning. I'm boring myself, but it comes in waves when i remember something he did that i should have handed him his ass over.
Rich men (IF he really is, because i have serious doubts about anything he ever said now) are not always generous, with their time, money or affection. You would think they would be, but nope. They are probably rich because they are stingy. With everything. Especially affection and decency.
I have a memory etched into my brain, of the last time we saw each other, and how he treated me. I was so confused, and upset- I didn't fully understand how he just threw switches in his brain and changed his personality within a second. I actually thought i did something wrong. I saw the end then, because a man doesn't treat a woman he has any feelings for the way he treated me that night. He ruined it. And left a bad taste in my mouth.
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