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my old tendencies

 Bill is sniffing around again.  Not for any love of me i'm sure, but for the reassurance that I still care.

I do care.  I don't know why, but i do.  I could sit and analyze myself, but why put any more time into him?  It's not going to work between us.  It's over.  He's like an addiction.  If i have contact with him once, i'll be right back to the Bill addiction.

And i keep wondering......why???

But like i said.  No more time wasted on a man who didn't know how to tell the truth, played head games, and wasted my time.  When i called him a coward i meant it.  

“The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman's love without the intention of loving her” -Bob Marley.

I'm sorry i had to understand that quote first hand.

It just tells me that men like Bill have existed forever, and always will.  Women like me need to avoid them.  He's not "different".  He's not "original".  He's like many men before him and many men that will come after him.  

The fact that he texted me on Valentines day to "wish me the best" and now he's hearting my profile picture on facebook.........he has no regard for my wish that he disappear from my life.  It will always be about him, his needs, what he wants.  He will never consider what he does when he plays with womens emotions.  

What goes around comes around.  Someday he will meet the wrong one.  Glad i'm not gonna be around to witness it.

On to more interesting topics.........

Pete from FB dating is looking promising.  He is a good conversationalist, is interested in knowing about me, seems open to telling me about himself.  He suggested going for a bike ride and i told him i don't know how.  He quickly said "we will have to get you a trike"......and i liked that response.   He has asked to take me out this weekend, but i already have a full weekend planned.  I told him i'm helping with a tag sale in Milford and joked that he should come buy stuff.  He said he loves tag sales and he would do that.

So he is scoring high with me.

The other one is Timmy.  He's a CO on the 5th floor where i work.  He doesn't technically work for the hospital.  However, he does work here.  So i'm cautious.  He works third shift so we wouldn't have contact but it still feels a bit close.  Also, I think he's looking for a hook up.  He doesn't ask me any  questions about myself, he hasn't asked to meet me, and this morning he asked if he could come get in bed with me.

So that seems pretty obvious.  I'll entertain him for as long as it's interesting.  

I'm still on the damn dating site, and i plan on staying on it until i meet someone, and they show me consistent interest.  No more dating one man at a time, unless thats all i am talking to at the moment.  It's not their business.  It keeps me not so available and makes me keep a clear head.

Thats the plan anyways.  




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