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take care of home

i purchased a used rebounder that is basically brand new a couple of weeks ago.  It's much bigger than i thought it would be and my concern is that if i don't have it out, i won't use it.  So i rearranged my bedroom and now i have a place to sleep/dress/work out.  I can leave everything out because all i have to do is close the door.

You know, in case anyone ever actually visits me.

I have to get the rebounder from my friends house where i left it when i couldn't fit it in my car because i was not smart enough to break it down.  long story.  

Now that i have room for my equipment i dragged out my yoga accessories and gave it a good restorative workout last night.  It felt quite literally amazing.  My room feels peaceful, restful and it has gone from being a place i wish i shared to a place that is purely for me and me alone.

And it feels like heaven.

It feels like home.

Oh, i heard from cranky pants at 10:30pm last night.  He texted me asking if he could come over for birthday sex.  I told him it wasn't my birthday and i blocked him.  Why do men think they can talk to anyone like that, let alone a woman they've never met?  Imagine what in person would be like?  

So yesterday was a big clearing of the male energy out of my life day.  Maybe thats why i feel so good today?  In spite of still recovering from the flu.  

Between clearing out my home, methodically going through drawers and closets throwing away things that don't serve me, and clearing out my emotional back pack of men that haven't earned their place in my life.........AND losing weight and exercising because it's good for me, makes me stronger and FEELS GOOD........I am finally feeling truly centered and at peace with my choices.

I don't know what is coming down the pike, but i do know that i will handle it.  Life is going to continue to change, and i will roll with it while taking care of myself.  Maybe i won't have a job on July 1st - but MAYBE it will just look very different.  I'm used to change.  Change is good.  I can still be invested, i can still learn and grow and add something important to any role that i am in.  I just have to get out of my own way and allow myself to do it.

After a week off from work, being by myself and having all this time to think and reflect (oh and poop a lot) I'm in a good place.  I'm ready.

I still can't watch the news without having to turn it off after a couple of minutes.  I may have finally gotten my life together just in time for the world to end.  

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