This is what it's supposed to feel like

 I can't wait for tonight.  Tommy is coming over and i have the day off from work tomorrow.  We can spend some quality time together. 

We can't seem to shut up around each other.  Talk, Talk, Kiss, Talk........laugh our asses off.  I can't help but think that i wish we reconnected again so much sooner.

But we weren't ready.

I hope we are now.  Time will tell. 

Seems very fast,  but we had our first "conflict" that i mentioned previously.  We had taken gummies and I can get ridiculous thinking everything is hysterical when i'm under that influence.  He asked me a question about one of my tattoos and some of my knick knacks around my apartment and i gave him a very direct answer.........while laughing my ass off.  So the timing wasn't ideal.  Nor was my delivery or his reception. He became very quiet, and all of a sudden had to go home for "his boys".  How am i to argue with that?  Can't keep a man from his kids.  So he exits quickly and i am still stoned, so i'm still happy.

Until the next morning when i wake up and remember the conversation.  Oh. Shit.  Not how i wanted to tell him.  I would have eventually had that conversation had it ever come up naturally.  I do feel he, as someone i want a relationship with, has a right to know.  I don't like secrets or omissions that can come back and ruin your future.  I won't lie about anything because I don't have regrets.  Everything i've ever done or lived through has given me experience and growth.  Doesn't mean i'd do it again. 

So next morning i don't hear from him.  Finally around 10am i text him and say "second thoughts?" and he basically says yes and why.  I kind of knew based on him leaving like his ass was on fire....and not hearing from him multiple times at the crack of dawn, so i wasn't surprised.  BUT i was hurt.  And then i got angry.  And then i let him have a peace of my mind.  

We weren't unkind to each other, but we weren't agreeing.  And looking back, it was probably the first adult disagreement with a man i've ever had that was reasonable and respectful.  We both walked away from it feeling like it was resolved and neither of us had to be the "wrong" one, or the "bad" one.  No one felt like a jerk.  And we carried on as we have before after coming to the conclusion that we both had feelings about the information i shared and that the past is the past, and i have no feelings or regret, however that is over now.  

He was very clear about how he felt about me, moving forward.  And i agree.

So it worked out.