neighbors

 I learned early on not to get overly friendly with neighbors, especially when renting.  It's enough to know who lives near you, give a smile and a nod when you see them, maybe a bit of chit chat for a few minutes, but nothing too personal, and not for too long.

I moved 5 times in 5 years after a breakup.  I couldn't find my space.  THE space that was meant for me.  Finally, I found where I am now and I've been here 3 years, 4 leases. I have WINDOWS, a private deck, no hallways to walk through to get to my apartment and although I have a neighbor on each side of me and one above....i rarely hear them.  I hear the man upstairs but it's normal noise, and can be comforting knowing someone is near.  

Because I've been here a few years now, with no loud parties, no police activity and a pretty decent citizen status, a few of the people who have been here for a LONG time have started chatting me up when I take Miyagi for a walk.  The guy next door, single, seems to be about my age.......has great plants......we see each other in passing doing laundry and such.  He's very nice.  And there's the lady who had her elderly mom (86) living with her who I've recently started chatting with.

Yesterday she came home as I was walking Miyagi, and she came across the parking lot to talk to me.  She told me her mom had passed.  I asked her if I could hug her (not everyone is into that) and I gave her a big hug.  I made sure she had family close by, and said all the things that probably don't help very much when you are in the midst of someone close passing.  She needed to talk, so that's what we did.  She told me all about it and I listened.  It was cold, I held Miyagi in my coat and I let her speak about her experience.  She told me "I've never been alone and not taking care of someone".  She has no husband, no kids, and she is older than I am.  She has spent her life taking care of her parents.  I told her I was right across the way and if she needed anything she should knock.  Sometimes it's hard to be alone when grieving, or at any time really.  

As the words were coming out of my mouth my brain went "WHAT" "SHUT UP" an open invitation to a NEIGHBOR to reach out if needed?  

She is a kind woman, and she is now entering a new phase of her life after an expected, yet sudden death of her mother, and her complete focus.  Maybe I'm going soft, however, I'm quite sure she won't be knocking on my door to use my phone and then calling her drug dealer. (I've lived in some interesting places during my lifetime)

We are all in this together, and yet we all feel alone in an unbearable way sometimes.  It doesn't have to be that way.  It's okay to make yourself available to listen to someone work through their thoughts and grief.  It's okay to share time with people just for the sake of sharing time with someone.  It makes us human.

Thats my thought for today.