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as i said.........



 There's a budding relationship going on.

Can't seem to stay away from each other - and here's the kicker.....there has been no sex.

Is there passion?  yep.  Plenty of that.  But it hasn't been moved on.

After last summer, i decided that i would never again sleep with someone i wanted a relationship with until we had that talk, we were exclusive, and we were in an ACTUAL relationship.  You know, the kind where you get to know each other's lives, friends, family...

Friday night i set a boundary.  Did i pull the trigger a little early?  yes.  But did i have those feelings? yes.  So i'm being true to myself, which is the only person i have to worry about currently.

Did he bend?  Nope.

I felt sad.  but i also felt like i might have made a healthy decision for myself.  Those feelings would have been easy to avoid if there had been better communication, less anxiety, less avoidance.

Saturday afternoon is how long he waited to reach out.  The conversation went as it does, bantering, poking, laughing....He said he missed our conversations already, and that he hated me.  I told him "me too and me too"......

and we were off.

Yesterday, (Sunday) I went for a walk at the Reservoir near me with my girlfriend Sarah.  We did 3 miles in about an hour.  That sucks for many but for ME that was amazing.  I've been doing more and more every day.  Pushing myself to get healthy for probably the first time in my life.

And the weight keeps coming off slowly.....but steadily.

After all that healthy........i went home, showered off the pound of sweat that was in my clothes and then went to his house.

Learning more and more about each other- and the only definite is that we want to be where we are at this moment.  

The unknown is uncomfortable.  But when i'm with him, I feel seen.  Heard.  Cared for in a way i have never experienced.  I'm not treated like i can't..........more like "of course you can".   

So i'm giving this some more time - 2 more months to be exact.  We will see where we are at then......If we don't know after 3 months if we want to give it a shot......well.  

....


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