Skip to main content

But why

 Last night/this morning? I had dreams about Mr. Tattoo.

I hate that.

I made him into the perfect man, glorified him in my mind, and then was crushed when it didn't work out.

He's just a man.

I saw what i wanted to see and ignored the red flags he freely waved.  He had a lot of trauma in his life, he is extremely avoidant, emotionally vacant, and unfortunately, very savy and smart.  He knows how to treat a woman but that doesn't mean he can have feelings for her.

His history with them should have told me.  He failed to mention a second marriage completely.  

I loved how he kept his home.....it was neat, clean, decorated tastefully - I even asked if his ex decorated it.  The man has good taste.  I loved his bathroom LOL

He always had snacks and candles lit.  He asked me what i drank and when i casually mentioned several things he stocked his bar with all of them.

I mean, whats not to like?

He just knows how to treat a woman.  Very. Well. Everywhere.  wink wink.  That alone goes for miles with me.  But it no longer keeps me interested if everything else doesn't also line up.

So why after all this time of me not thinking of him, does he appear in my dreams to taunt me?

Not my favorite thing to wake up wondering.

Maybe i'm supposed to remember the lesson?  I sure as hell hope i am not anyones "lesson" in life.  

Go away Mr. Tattoo.  You already sucked up too much of my time and energy with your blue eyes, tattoed body and gravel voice.  Go away.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Let's talk about Mr. Racecar

 I admit it.  I am a little bit excited about meeting Mr. Racecar.   He's younger- 53 He's taller, and bigger than me He has tats, bald head and long beard He builds cars/trucks and drag races - own his shop which is attached to his home.  ONE is a Camaro.  It sounds NASTY. He lives an hour away Now......here's what happens in my head:  What the hell could this man possibly see in me?  Why would he want to meet me?  He- owns a Harley but hasn't ridden it in a few years due to a car accident that left him unable to walk again until recently. He is a typical male in that some of his talk tries to lead me down the "lets talk about sex, baby, lets talk about you and me" side of things, which I have successfully diverted without him losing interest. I'm looking to date, to find the man I want to have a relationship with, not a situationship. And then I had to explain what a situationship is because he has only just started dating again, and he is ...

I love ChatGPT

 I am extremely transparent with my emotions because i do not have the ability to NOT be.  My only option when i'm having any feelings is to talk in a very low, slow, monotone voice and keep my face as blank as i possibly can. Unless they mean something to me. Unless i care about them and how they treat me.  So while i'm perfectly okay with never seeing or hearing from Mr. Cigar again, in light of his true self unveiling, I am overthinking my expression of emotions to him.   I took this little conversation and put it into ChatGPT with no questions or directions and this is what i got back: This exchange captures a painful and emotionally charged moment. Your initial message was heartfelt, vulnerable, and expressed a genuine desire for connection and acknowledgment. His response, while polite on the surface, carried a sharp undercurrent of blame and finality—deflecting accountability and subtly rewriting the narrative as your fault. Ending it with “safe travels ...

I danced.

 This past Saturday night i revisited what it felt like to be the zero fucks ME.   I had talked myself out of going out that night.  I dragged my ass around the house and thought of every reason to text my girlfriend an excuse about why i wasn't going out. I had many valid reasons.  Putting on real clothes, trying to make myself attractive, going somewhere i've never been all by myself to walk up to a man i've been talking to, but haven't ever met face to face.   Okay, Mb.  Just put on your sassy pants and go do it.  Nothing to lose, everything to gain.   But PJs.   No.   On my way I get a text from my gf, she's running late.  When i get to the venue I ask her "how late" and she says about 1/2 an hour. She's picking up our other 2 girlfriends. Do i sit out here in the car for half an hour like a baby when his gig starts in half hour, or do i go inside by myself (getting used to that) and find him, say hello ...