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never difficult

 Not to sound overly confident but getting dates isn't difficult for me, or any woman really (as Mr. Cigar liked to tell me)  I do, however, get asked out by handsome guys so.....i'm not scraping the bottom of the barrel.  He sure is.

Last night was hard.  I talked to a nice man i met on Facebook, we have friends in common and he's a musician. We chatted and then he called me.  Great convo.  seems nice.  We are meeting in Middletown tomorrow night.  

Saturday im going for that ride which i desperately need.  The guy isn't someone i want to date and he knows it.  I was very blunt about it.  But if he's offering me the kind of therapy i need.......i am going.  That will help clear my head.

I'm getting angry now.  About the time wasted, the push and pull, the games that were played.  Those two chaotic people have an illness and they'd be doing the world a favor if they just stayed together and left everyone else out of it.  But crazy needs an audience. 

I want to go see my sweet Henry this weekend and get some baby loving in, give the kids a little break.  I am hoping my daughter will let me know when she's coming to see them so i also get to see her.  That might be hoping for too much.

I'm frustrated with her too.  The withdrawals kill me and i'm torn between being "too much" or letting her have her space.  I hate it.  The other side is that she has an opinion about everything i do, and it's never a good one.  So, really i'm not missing that part at all.  

My life is transitioning and i feel it.  Like and earthquake where everything is getting shook up and god knows what it looks like when it's done.

I'm hurt.  But i'm okay.  

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